Friday, June 4, 2010

This week I have been bombarded by messages on hope. Papa wants me to pay attention! What is the meaning of the word hope? My thesaurus gives me a few choices; expect, trust, anticipate, wish, look forward to, expectation, optimism, faith. Ah, faith!
Without faith any hope I have will be on shaky ground; it will be a wish. With faith I have hope. What does this hope look like? Let me use the words the thesaurus offers.
I expect my God to be at work and knowing His character I can trust Him. It is with great anticipation that I look forward to seeing how He answers my prayers, my longings and desires. What will my heart's desire look like when He is finished?
He promises that if we delight in Him, He will give us the desires of our heart. This does not mean that whatever we think we want or need will be given to us. It means that as we get to know Him and find out just how delightful He is - our hearts change; we enter the process of being conformed to His image and that includes our hearts!
My hope is in Him.
This has never been more crucial. If my hope were in the hospital staff caring for Ray or in his fortitude, I would be in trouble! The staff is excellent and Ray is a strong man, but all are human, all are limited. My God is all-powerful and all-knowing! I choose Him!
Today was both encouraging and disconcerting. The nurses were excited that he fed himself all three meals today. The head nurse told me that it won't be long until he can eat anything he wants. I gave her a big smile and her response was, You have a lot to smile about! You will definitely be getting him back in time! Very encouraging!!
I visited in the evening for a change, so Ray was already in his bed and we just stayed in his room. He listened while I brought him up to date on the Reynolds' happenings and read him the latest cards. We prayed together and he thanked the LORD for all the kindnesses being shown to him. He also expressed thankfulness that I could come visit him.
If he hadn't mentioned me, his wife, in prayer I would have wondered if he really knew who I was. He asked me if I was staying in the area overnight and if I had taken the ferry. I think he thought I came from Long Island!
After a little while he looked at the clock and declared that I had better be on my way! Oh, would I also stop by the desk and let them know that we were through in here?
My honey is a bit confused! He reminded me of his dad, who had dementia. Very childlike.
Though I know that traumatic brain injuries take a while to heal and cause confusion among other things, it is still unsettling. This is my husband! I am use to him watching out for me! I am not accustomed to him being weak and slow of thought! I am usually the one who has to process everything slowly and he is the one who always quick thinking! What if he doesn't get it all back?
It is the end of the day and I am tired. Everything looks gloomier when one is weary. Oh, oh
I am reminded of a Word from the LORD earlier today and I can't help but be hopeful!
"Do you not know? Have you not heard?
The Everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth does not become weary or tired. His understanding is inscrutable.
He gives strength to the weary, and to him who lacks might He increases power.
Though youths grow weary and tired, and vigorous young men stumble badly,
Yet those who wait for the LORD will gain new strength;
they will mount up with wings like eagles,
They will run and not get tired,
They will walk and not become weary!"
Isaiah 40:28-31

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