This day was used to "rattle around in my own bones" to quote my mother-in-law. There was nothing on my agenda but hanging out with Papa. Choosing Fridays as my mental health day wasn't working very well. What I needed was a day when I could just stay home and "be!" Friday does not afford me that option, as the schedule holds a few other commitments that take me out of my home. I needed desperately to not get into a car to go anywhere! Today I succeeded in doing just that! Hallelujah!!
So I sit here feeling more refreshed than I have in quite a little while and, of course, I have many things to share with you.
I would like to begin with a bit of advice. Six months ago, or more, a wise man gave me a bit of this advice that struck me as something to heed. The problem is that I didn't follow it through. There are many shoulda, woulda, coulda moments in all of our lives and it isn't worth beating ourselves up over, however, why not take those experiences and offer what we learned to others. That is what I am doing here.
I had been in an accident; someone rear-ended me. My friend asked me whether I had medical coverage on my auto insurance. I didn't. He advised me to get it for the future. You see, when you don't have it and you are in an accident, your health insurance pays for medical care, but then often goes after your auto insurance for reimbursement.
That, my friends, is what is happening in our case. At first, I figured that as long as the bills are paid we are fine. Unfortunately, when there are extensive injuries that will take a good long period of time for recovery and might have some permanent disabilities, it would be very nice to know that there will be funds to help with the future.
Am I losing sleep over this? No. I simply feel it would be wrong for me not to pass this on to you. None of us ever think we or a loved one will be in an accident, yet, as you know, my family, as well as many others, can attest to the fallacy of that thinking!
You know everything that occurs in our life is an opportunity to learn a lesson, if we are teachable. With Jesus, who is Life, in my life, I have an added advantage. He is a wonderful Teacher. There is never a time that He isn't with me and there isn't anything that either takes Him by surprise or that He doesn't understand. No hand-wringing on His part! He walked this earth as a man on purpose. He can relate on the human level in all of the nitty-gritty of life. What a joy and comfort.
I am never separated from Him, nor He from me. We go through life together!
The catch is taking time to abide. Oh, I know He is with me and we have conversations all through the day, but I was still getting worn out.
Why? Lack of real rest. He calls us to "Be still and know He is God." (Psalm 46:10). That is what I did today. That is what I need to do every day. I have been forgetting that and letting all the extra busyness of my life crowd in and take over.
Every day every one of us could be busy every single moment. He didn't design us that way. He calls us to rest regularly; not just when it's time for a vacation or even once a week, but every day. I am going to be more deliberate in making sure, with His help, that I "come apart, before I come apart!"
I heard from Gaylord today. Ray's team met, as usual, today. Natalie, our case coordinator, called to report the team's current assessment of my husband.
He has made a considerable amount of progress this week! I knew that, but it is always lovely to hear that from them.
They are formulating plans for my honey's future, immediate and there after. A request has gone into the insurance company for their approval to keep Ray at Gaylord until July first. After that there are two options.
Gaylord has a separate section for brain injury patients where they can stay for futher healing and rehabilitation before they transition to their home. He would be a good candidate for this if a few things change. One condition that he does not meet, at this time, is being able to handle his bathroom needs by himself. Ray is still not voiding and he is also not able to move from the wheelchair to bed or toilet on his own.
The other option is to move him to a sub-acute facility until he is able to meet the conditions of Gaylord's B I facility. We have three good ones on the list.
After hearing this news I felt emotionally torn. There was the sense of relief that he would not be sent home in his current condition, but then deep sadness that he wasn't coming home very soon.
Who thought up these crazy feelings anyway?? Right now I feel like a little girl stomping her feet at her Papa while saying, "It isn't fair!" (I figure I might as well admit it as He knows anyway!)
My God is so gracious and loving. He just keeps loving me. There's no change in the intensity of His love. His love is super-intense all the time! Isn't that amazing?!
I have been thinking about how faithful He is in answering prayer. Of course, in His time and in His own way, but He does answer! He takes our prayers very seriously; often more seriously than we do! It says in Revelation that He stores the prayers of the saints under His altar!! Cool!
He also likes to help us rework our prayers. I heard a speaker a while ago who said that He encourages us to keep asking so that, as we seek Him, He guides us to what we should really be asking for.
This morning I asked Him to restore my marriage. It had gotten really good this past year and I want it back. A reminder came to my heart - a reminder that He loves to make things new. He wants to make Ray's and my marriage better than ever!
We certainly are learning afresh what love is and how to express it. Oh my! He has already started!