Saturday, February 26, 2011

Thoughts that Turned the Tables

During my reading today something Oswald Chambers wrote stirred a thought that came to mind and then refused to be dismissed.  "How often do I look at my own or other people's limitations and project the evaluation onto what my God can or cannot do?"
Life is not for the faint of heart to be sure!   It can also be filled with great disappointment.


Unless a person fixes their eyes, mind and heart on the Living God.  Yes, on Him and Him alone!  He is unlimited.  Scripture tells us that "Nothing is impossible with God."
It is critical to remember who this God is too.  He is the faithful One.  He is the God who loves to bless and has good plans for each one of us.
He loves us so much that He went to great expense and sacrifice to make the way for us to be in relationship with Him.

He has brought two things to my attention.

I had asked my honey out on a date.  He didn't know why we wanted to go out, but I told him he couldn't refuse a "hot" date, so he agreed to go.
For all the years of our relationship we have made a habit of going on 'dates' where we could talk without distraction.
As we all know, this man is not the talker he had been.  He will respond to you in conversation, but with much fewer words than he would have in the pre-accident days.

During therapy yesterday Ray's OT person had told him that they are going to stop this particular therapy soon, as there is no marked improvement in his arm.
Ray is still thinking that it will recover and that life is just on hold for now.  I asked him what he planned to do should the arm not come back.  He said that he will become very familiar with all the reruns that TV has to offer.  Not the response that I was hoping to hear!
I encouraged him to find something to occupy himself with now.  I long to see him rejoin life!  He shared that he might attempt a few things except for the pain in his arm.
The pain is not constant, but is regular and any exertion causes more of it.

Here I had gotten into feeling sorry for my lot in life and had forgotten what my husband was going through.  I think this is probably a common malady for caregivers.  The day in, day out of the same old thing can cause one's view of things to glaze over.

What my husband is experiencing was the first thing Papa brought back into focus for me.  With that refocus comes the desire to discover what our God has for us in and through all of this, particularly what He has for Ray.
The answer still seems to be people. 
I am so grateful for those who Papa has in our life.  There are friends who faithfully spend time with Ray, even those who live out of state and find time to visit.  Thank You Father!

Another thought had crossed my mind.  My whole life has been filled with a variety of challenges.  Many times I wondered to what purpose.  Now I can say, "For His Glory." 
The lives of the prophets of the Old Testament often were messages to God's people.  He would work through their lives in a way that fleshed out what He wanted His people to learn.
What if my life is like that?  What if my Papa is using my life to flesh out messages for others? 
I felt like the LORD was asking me this.  My response?  Yes!
This makes it all worth while.
I do know that nothing comes my way that He isn't allowing.  It all has a purpose.  I know that one purpose is to make and mold me into who He has designed me to be.  How wonderful if it touches other lives too!

This life is temporary.  The life that awaits me in glory is beyond anything I can imagine.  Sorrow is temporary.  Joy is guaranteed in that glorious morning.
So Papa, have Your way. 
I trust You.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Beyond Sight

One of the gifts Matt and Mindy gave me for my birthday is a daily calender.  The calendar's theme is motherhood.  Each day offers a quote from a variety of people.  Yesterday's page held this comment by Evelyn L Beilensen:
"The proverb, 'Out of sight, out of mind' never applies to a mother's relationship with her child."

How true, at least for this momma.  I can't imagine forgetting any one of my children.  Yet, as much as I love them, Papa reminds me that His love for them is deeper still; they are never out of His thoughts or sight.  He says that even if a mother forgets her nursing child He never will.

These truths reinforce my commitment to hang in there, no matter what.
How gracious Papa is!  He strengthens my faith in His grace, which brings light to the darkness that tries to engulf me and mine and brings power to my prayers.  Through prayer I can confidently engage God's help knowing that He will do what is right and good.  That is His nature.

I continued in Hebrews eleven today and read about yet more who exercised their faith tenaciously.  Each one listed, as an example, lived with abandon for God.  They were confident that He would keep His promises and that those promises were worth waiting for, no matter the cost.  It called for faith not sight.
I have learned that no matter how much or what I need to relinquish, the return is so much richer than what I wanted to cling to in the first place.
My God set the example by giving His one and only Son.  In that light I will entrust everything and everyone to Him.  If I cling it hinders His work.
Any clinging will be to Him alone.

"For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I shall know fully just as I also have been fully known."

Tuesday, February 22, 2011


Tenacity is essential to be able to navigate the crazy course of this adventure called life.  My God calls me to be tenacious and then supplies what is needed for me to be so.
Papa brought this subject to my attentiuon on Monday morning and then underscored it.  As I think about it, He has been dropping hints for a while now and finally gave it to me with both barrels!

I opened Oswald Chambers' "My Utmost for His Highest" and was reminded that no matter what it looks like I need to and can hang on, standing firm, because I know that my God will prevail.  Psalm forty-six, verse ten was referenced which tells us to "be still and know that I am God."  It takes tenacity, at times, to be still and focus!

With that I looked to see what treasure Papa had for me in Max Lucado's devotional "Grace for the Moment."  What might I have found there?  Yes, more on the subject, but with a twist.  My God is tenacious.  He has taken up residence in my life and He is not moving!  Praise God!
Of course, David Jeremiah's thoughts in his book "Sanctuary", spoke of not wavering from the joy of proclaiming the Good News.

As you might recall, I am in the eleventh chapter of Hebrews, which has been refered to as "The Hall of Faith."  In just a few verses I read of a number of people who stayed faithful.
There was Abel, who didn't take any short cuts, but chose God's way.
Enoch's witness was pleasing to God.  You see faith pleases Him.
Reverent obedience caused Noah to look for eternal things of which he would be an heir.
Abraham's obedience was the result of his faith.  He expected God's promises to be fulfilled.  And his wife, Sarah did her part in faith that God was faithful.
Not one of them was focused upon merely the temporal, but looked to the One Who held eternity in His Hands.

Why was Papa emphasizing this message to me right now?  Because He wanted to encourage me to keep on keeping on.

One of my favorite roles in life is that of a momma.  It is a deep and great source of joy to me.  It is also one of the sources of the deepest grief I have ever known.
Each day finds me praying for my children.  With every new day one of them receives some extra focus in my prayers for them.  Promises from the Word of God have been claimed for them individually.  Papa and I confer regarding what their particular needs are and then we give them special attention.
Recently I have been praying for my youngest to desire to draw nearer to our God.  Sunday night he spoke of that desire to me!
Papa often does that for me.  He gives me a glimpse that assures me that He is hearing and answering my prayers.  He is so gracious!
I have learned, but need to be reminded, that He is always at work, whether I recognize it or not.

I was in the midst of exulting in all my God had spoken to me when my phone rang.  It was the girlfriend of another son.  This son has an addiction problem that he has not dealt with. 
The call was not good news.  Things are unraveling for my precious son.  His girl sobbed out the story to me.  My heart broke for them both.
Another call came again this morning with more heartbreak.
I hate addiction!  I am tired of the whole subject!!  It has cursed both my husband's and my family for generations.
When will it end?!

It ends one person at a time.
In the Old Testament God says that "the sins of the fathers will be carried to the third and fourth generation, BUT..."
"To those who love me I will show my lovingkindness."
That is the chain breaker!
As a person turns to the Almighty God and cries out in faith for help, He answers.  He answers exceedingly, abundantly above and beyond anything we could ever ask or think!
What is so amazing to me is that He knows that on our own we do not have the strength to chose Him, so He draws us through whatever means is necessary.

Knowing my God gives me the confidence needed to be tenacious.  I have learned that the paths that I am loathe to walk have been known to end up with the most joy in the end.  Yes! Joy comes in the morning!!
So I am willing to release my son to walk the path he and I both hate to find him on, for I know it is the path of healing.
I will be tenacious for both of us!

Sunday, February 20, 2011


Did you ever feel aimless?  Without direction or purpose?
That is how I have been feeling.
I have lost my oomph and can't find it.
These past couple of weeks have felt very long and pointless.
The cough persists and my energy is low.

I feel like I am on a shelf somewhere just observing life as it passes by.  Same old, same old.  Nothing exciting to report. I do not like it.

Those were my thoughts as I sat down to create this post.  However, as I clicked the link to my blog the words "carried by grace" seemed to stand out.  It is a reminder to me from My Blessed Heavenly Father.  He is carrying me by His grace.
Grace is unmerited favor.  My God chooses to show me His favor because He loves me, not because I have earned it.
How He and His love blow me away!

I have had so much time on my hands and not much to distract me from thinking a lot. (Not good.) Illness has a way of casting a shadow on one's mind and situation.
Often I am not aware of how the shadow is deepening.
Papa has brought it to my attention and we have been having some dialogue about this miserable shadow.

I have been weepy.  Relationships cause my tears to flow.  Relationships in real life or books or movies, it doesn't matter.  I have been having a case of the "poor mes!"
Ray and I had just arrived at a time in our life where we could enjoy each other and be more spontaneous in what we did with our time together.
No more.
It is a different life now and it might just stay this way for the most part.
Ray continues to make progress but it is very subtle these days.  He is being graduated from Speech Therapy this coming Friday, which will make room for more Aquatic Therapy.  He will continue to gain more strength, but not to his former strength, nor personality.

"This too will pass."  "And it came to pass."  These are two bits of scripture that I like to remind myself.
Everything in this life is temporary. 
My God and His promises are eternal.

I continue my way through the book of Hebrews and after reading part of the tenth chapter today I noted in my journal that it is by His grace and power that I can persevere.
I know that spring will come to both my body and soul, as well as the outdoors.  Yet, I do not need to wait for spring to arrive anywhere.  I can look to my LORD now.

Psalm three speaks to my heart.
"O LORD, how my adversaries have increased!
Many are rising up against me.
Many are saying of my soul, 'There is no deliverance for him (her) in God.'
But You, O LORD are a shield about me,
My glory, and the One who lifts my head.
I was crying to the LORD with my voice,
And He answered me from His holy mountain.
I lay down and slept;
I awoke, for the LORD sustains me."

My adversaries are my own thoughts and on my own there is no deliverance.  However, I am not on my own.  My God is my protector.  He is the One who gently raises up my head.
And when my head is lifted up Whose Face do I see?  My God's!
With that I lay my head against His breast and rest.  He will raise me up in His time.  He will renew my purpose and energy and hope.
By His grace I am certain to be carried through all this life.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Living the Story

Reading has always topped my list of favorite things to do. 
I was slow to learn to read, but once I caught on, it was as if I were attempting to make up for lost time.
I think one of its biggest attractions was that it helped me escape the reality of life.  To this day I can become lost in the story; I enter into the story as if it were my own.

Reading out loud is fun for me and I did so regularly when our sons where young.  Each character would have their own voice, of course, and it would reflect the emotions of the moment. 
Public speaking is like that for me too.
I love to see others being drawn into the story.  You know when you have them.

I think there is a actress hiding somewhere inside this lady.
For years I would not have admitted this, as I hate drama in real life.  Drama was normal fare in my childhood home.  The smallest things were magnified, yet what was truly important was often overlooked.   This type of drama is very unappealing to me and for a long time I worked at avoiding all forms of it.   Denial is an essential element in this avoidance.
I just wanted a nice, quiet life. 
It didn't work.

Enter Jesus.
He took center stage in my life. 
As I have walked with Him I have learned to open up to the drama of life.   The amazing thing is that when we try to avoid certain emotions and experiences, we lose out on all the rest too.
Today I can face all of it because I am confident of Who walks with me.  I am free to live, really live.

This past week and a half I have not felt very alive.  I still don't.  My head is still fuzzy and aches, I have a miserable cough, my energy level is very low and my patience is a little thin, so a touch of crankiness is not too far below the surface.
For two days now I have been trying to tackle a few sedentary jobs without much success.  Responsibilities are beginning to pile up. 
Not much I can do about it right now.

I am not one to brood, at least not consciously.  As always, I am amazed by what is going on in the good old sub-conscience.
It didn't take me long to fall to sleep last night, but the sleep only lasted about an hour.  I awoke with a start with a number of big issues on my mind.
I prayed, but still couldn't sleep.  So I did what I usually do.  I got up, picked up my current read and got lost in the story for about an hour.

Let me put in a brief plug for the book here.  "Unbroken" by Laura Hillenbrand is an excellent, well written book.  It is what my book club is reading at the moment.  I probably wouldn't have picked it up otherwise and that would have been to my loss.
Oh, to write with such ease and clarity; to be able to capture the reader's attention with the first sentence!  What a gift!

With my mind now filled with the story I was finally able to go back to sleep. 
For a while.
Then the bad dream started.

I hate snakes.  That is I abhor them.  Until recently I could not even look at a picture of one let alone be in the same place with one.
I still detest them, but can handle them (not literally!) at a distance.

There were two snakes in my dream.  Two big, fat snakes with fangs and huge mouths.  I remember being concerned as to where our cats were because it was obvious that these snakes could have swallowed them whole!
There they were in one of our closets.  The closet didn't look familiar, but I knew it was in our house.

A thought came to me in the midst of this dream.  A message really.
"You should just give up.  Aren't you really depressed?  It would be better to die."
I felt the darkness all around me trying to pull me into it.
It couldn't.

In the dream, Matthew came home and told me that snakes love formaldehyde and he just happened to have a big bottle of it.  He poured it into a large pan for them to drink.  They would die after drinking it.

They didn't look too interested.

Just then a small boy began to toddle near the closet.  One of the snakes noticed him.
With that I thought, "Oh, oh, I think I had better wake up!"
Then I did just that.

Strange, huh?
Want my interpretation?

Flu shots have formaldehyde in them.
Those snakes were, in part, the flu.  Probably all the stuff from my growing pile was another part of them.
The message and the darkness are not unfamiliar to me.  The enemy shows up in my dreams every now and then.  When he does it is always in a form of an attack.  Often it feels as if he has a hold on me.
Every time I call on my Jesus and the enemy has to let go and take a hike.
Last night I didn't even have to call on my Savior.
You see, I knew He was with me and was holding me.  Nothing, no darkness can move me.

As I have shared, I am in the book of Hebrews at the moment.   This morning I finished the ninth chapter.  I was reminded that what Jesus did on the Cross was for all time.
He is my High Priest; the sacrifice He made is complete.  Nothing else needs to be done.  As He said on the Cross, "It is finished!"
I am secure in and through Him alone.

This story is filled with drama.  It is the one that He has written for me to live.  It is the best story ever.  It is my own!

Saturday, February 12, 2011

BORED? Maybe not.

Monotony.  Dullness.  To add a couple of words from the thesaurus.

I am rarely bored. 
There is always something to do or think about or read.
Today is no exception. 
The problem is that I cannot concentrate on any of it.  My energy level is just about non-existent and not just physical energy.
I truly feel dull.

Well, that's it.  I have no idea what I thought I'd be writing here.  I just felt like I needed to write something.
I can report that Matt is improving.  Yesterday was scary.  Never before had any of us seen him so weak.
I am getting better also.
However, the improvement for both of us is way too slow!
Mindy told me that the flu can last up to ten days.

Speaking of my lovely daughter-in-law, she is beginning to not feel very well herself.
Ray is grateful he had his flu shot.  So are we!
Tim is steering clear of the house.  If he stops for something, he covers his mouth and won't touch anyone.
Smart guy!

In a way, I feel like I have been steering clear of Papa, but then He reminds me that He is with me whether I have any energy to actively seek Him or not.  It is a comfort.  Knowing that nothing comes my way without His permission is also very comforting.  I don't know what His purpose is, but I do know in the long run, it will be for good.
During my quiet times throughout this week He keeps bringing the word "imagination" to my attention.  Having an imagination is a gift from Papa and we do Him a disservice when we do not exercise it.  I know when I do, it enriches my relationships; beginning with His and mine.
Many years ago a verse in Isaiah captured my attention and I have kept it with me for over thirty years.  This week Oswald Chambers references it in "My Utmost for His Highest."   The topic was "imagination."
I had learned the verse from the King James Version.  He used a Revised Version.
Here it is:
"You will keep Him in perfect peace, whose imagination is stayed on You."

I do not have enough umph right now to do much with this, but this much I can do.  I am picturing myself curled up in Papa's lap where He will restore me.
And that is certainly not a boring place to be!

Thursday, February 10, 2011

No Laughing Matter

The Flu. 
Need I say more?

For three days now both Matt and I have been under the grip of Influenza.
Not a pretty sight.

When an illness hits, a house grows strangely quiet, except for the hacking and gagging.
We have learned that any stab at humor is not welcome.
Today a friend of Matt's called and was trying to cheer him up with a little levity.  It took Matt quite a while to stop choking.
He commented that laughter is not always the best medicine!

What is good medicine? 
Usually it is difficult for me to keep still for very long.  Not this week.
Usually I would find something to fill my time with, but I don't have the energy to even consider anything.
My brain is fuzzy, so I have not been able to do any serious concentration for any length of time.  I am amazed that I am even sitting here writing, but felt the urge and figured I'd give it a go.

I am spending a bit of my day reading, at least until my eyes say no more!  I love historical fiction, especially if it is well researched.  The Thoenes are quite a team.  Bodie writes and her husband, Brock researches.  The results are wonderful.
God's truth is woven throughout all their stories. 
Their trilogy, "The Shiloh Legacy" is no exception.
Papa has used their writing to correspond with what He has been saying to me elsewhere.

Life is an adventure filled with joys and sorrows and all sorts of challenges along the way.  All of which can easily cause our focus to shift from the One most important part, Him.  The minute our focus moves off of Him, we are in trouble.
To keep focused we need to keep close accounts.  It is easy to let little things slip off the radar screen in light of the big picture.  Little by little they end up piling up and causing a wedge to form between us and our God.
Life keeps going and piling up more junk.  After a while the load is too much and we are so out of kilter that anything more is too much.

When I sit with Jesus and open His Word I journal what He says to me.  If I don't take it to the next step, which is application, all it ends up being is words on a page.  Application means that I let the Word shine onto my life and together, Papa and I, see and deal with what is exposed.  It often takes a little digging.  It often isn't comfortable.  Sometimes I stop short and just do a little surface work.  That only works for so long.
So as I lay around this house, even with my head all fuzzy, I know it is my heart that He is working on.  May I not make light of it.
It, indeed, is no laughing matter!

Wednesday, February 9, 2011


"How's the book going?"
"Doing much writing?"
"How's the book coming along?"

This week it seems that no matter who I am speaking with they ask about the book.
It appears that Papa is giving me a little nudge; a reminder that this is His idea.

So how is it going?
Very slowly.
Yet, it isn't as if nothing is happening.
Before I ever write anything, I think. 
I do a lot of thinking. 
Once I do begin to write I often do not need to edit it or, at least, not very much.

Some of what I have been mulling over is how to approach the topic.
This week I believe I have my answer.  Write it in story form.
I think that is how I write anyway.  Matt says that is what people most enjoy.

Sounds good.

There are a number of websites that are for writers and discuss the process of writing.  One site offers courses to help a writer.  I explored them the other day.  They were very elementary and not for me.  I know there is much to learn, but I need something a bit meatier.
Meanwhile, I am sensing the nudge of Papa to just write.  It is so easy to spin one's wheels, especially with the Internet at your fingertips!  It is seemingly inexhaustible.  There is so much to consider.
However, the effort it takes to sort through all the information is more than I care to give it.
Anyway, I have a truly inexhaustible resource available to me at all times!

My God.

With God all things are possible and I can do all things through Him.  Hmmm.  I think I read that somewhere...
I cannot grasp all that my God is or does, but I can choose to trust Him.  The more I do this, the easier it is to do.
It doesn't matter what it is, He is my source of strength and hope and wisdom, to mention just a few.

The third chapter of Hebrews reminds me to....Consider Jesus...

Who He is.
        High Priest.
        Faithful Son.
        Worthy of Glory
What He has done.
         Secured our Eternal Salvation!
And is doing.
          Building His House (His body).

The result of considering Jesus, of being reminded of Who He is and what He has and is doing makes the whole difference in how I consider everything else.
I find peace, a sense of rest, that nothing else can offer, nor give to me.

Hebrews go on to warn us that we need to be careful.  To forget to consider Jesus is to go off on our own and this provokes God.
Because He, the Holy God, knows that we know better and because He has so much more for us!
We are called to encourage others to consider with us the One who said, "It is finished!"
What does that mean?  It means that all we need was accomplished on that Cross two thousand years ago.

Yes, consider Jesus!  He is all we need for life.  He is all we need to be all He intends us to be and that is a whole lot more than we can ever ask or think!

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Just the Right Ingredients!

The inside of the card read: "Hope today is filled with all the ingredients that make you happiest."
The card was from my husband and children.
The occasion?  A belated celebration of my sixtieth birthday.

Saturday afternoon they began to gather. 
Who?  Many of my very dearest ones.
Our sons.
The women who love them.
My sisters and their families.
A few close friends.
Each one a treasure to me.

I did not know exactly who would be coming.  The weather left a big question mark regarding how many would make it.  So I went off to have my nails done not knowing who or when to expect anyone.
My family knew, but wasn't saying.
Upon my return, as I entered the house, I heard the voice of our oldest son, Eric.  Oh joy!  He and his wife had come from West Virginia.  It was the first time that both of them were here in many years.

My heart is full!  The evening was, indeed, filled with the ingredients that make me happiest.
This morning our four sons, two daughters (in-law) and two lovely girlfriends joined Ray and I for breakfast.  My our dining table was full!  I wanted to freeze the moment.

As I write this our home is back to its usual residents, but I still sense the presence of those who were here; I hear the laughter, the voices warmed with love.  And my heart is still full; full of the love that fills our home and hearts.  A friend commented last night that she could feel the love, that it was evident between all of our family.  Such a gift!

Papa is the Giver of all good things.  A family that enjoys each other and values one another is one of those good gifts.  Time together is yet another.
The women that He has brought alongside my sons is still another.  I have prayed for these girls since I began praying for my sons and I was praying for the boys while they had not yet even made their appeareance into this world!

Mindy is one of the answers to my prayer.  This precious woman is the one who organized, planned and pulled off this celebration.  Such a loving gift to this mother-in-law!  I am so blessed!
It was difficult for me not to be busy in the kitchen, etc.  When I would gravitate that way I would have to contend with a stern look from Mindy as she admonished me to keep my hands off!

I was brought to tears last night when presented with a beautiful mother's ring.  It is perfect!  Though if my heart had its way it would have had a second row of stones- one for each one of the young women who stands by my sons' side.

Yes, the day was filled with all the ingredients that make me happiest.  However, truth be told, it all has spilled into my everyday.  You see all those delightful ingredients are orchestrated by, drawn together and bound up in Papa's gracious loving Presence.  He keeps it all fresh and alive.  With Him as the Key Ingredient I am beyond happy!

Saturday, February 5, 2011


Matthew made a comment at dinner last night that got me to thinking.  He said that there is a part of my life that is shrouded in mystery, a part that is unknown to my sons.  He had seen a picture of me at one of my sister's homes that stirred up some curiosity regarding who his mother was all those years ago.

How much do we need to share with our children, or even our mate? 
How much is wise to share? 
How much is even healthy to share for any relationship?
Do we need to open up about all of it?

Some reading this may not have anything that would cause them major embarrassment or shame if brought to light.  Others quickly relate to what I am saying.  The thought of exposure causes great discomfort.  The enemy makes certain of that.

These thoughts were in the forefront of my mind when I awoke this morning. 
Papa knew they would be.

As you know, I am working my way through the book of Hebrews this month.  Well, the reading this morning was in the second half of the second chapter and what do you think that I found there?
"For both He who sanctifies and those who are sanctified are all from one Father, for which reason He is not ashamed to call them brethren..."
Did you catch those two powerful words? 
He is not ashamed to say, "Yes, Debbie is part of My family, as a matter of fact, she is My sister!"

Now this is not just anybody saying this. 
This is not someone who doesn't know all about me! 
No, this is the One Who knows it all!!!! 
Down to every last detail. 
There is nothing left in the shadows; there is no mystery as far as He is concerned.

Well, as we can read in the eighth chapter of Romans, "What then shall we say to these things?  If God is for us, who is against us?"
Even if others were to judge me, I am accepted in the Beloved. 
There I rest.

When my relationship with Jesus was brand new, the enemy would throw stuff in my face quite often.  In the midst of happy thoughts one would suddenly appear, as a reminder of some foolish choice I had made in the past.  Immediately I would cringe inside and be brought down.
Papa taught me to turn it around by thanking Jesus for dying for that sin too.

These days the enemy has to be a bit more subtle.
However, my God is always ready to expose the lie that surrounds the accusation.
You see, whatever sin the enemy attempts to lay at my feet ends up being laid at the foot of the Cross.  No matter how much he accuses me of, Jesus reminds the Father that He has paid the price.
Oh, such love!  Oh, such mercy!  How He causes my heart to sing!

All my sins are put as far as east is from west.  Please note that east and west never meet!
Though they are washed away by His sacrifice, but He still uses them.
I will share anything with anyone, but I will not share everything with everyone.  Until the Spirit's direction I have been able to relate with others in their struggles because of my past.
He is the Redeemer and that means that nothing goes to waste!
What a privilege to be His.  What a joy to not only be redeemed, but have my past redeemed too!

No more shame for this girl.
Now Papa how do I respond to my son's unasked question?

Wednesday, February 2, 2011


Yes, a posting so soon.  Well, I cannot contain myself!  I have to share what Papa has shown me this day.  It is just bubbling up and out of me and I think Papa wants it to engulf you too!

I opened my Bible up to Hebrews once again and just can't contain the joy of it all!!

One of my favorite roles is that of being a mama.  I love mothering; I love my sons and now my daughters(in-law) and grandchildren more than can be expressed in words.  That is why the following quote touched my heart.
The decision to have a child "is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body."  Writer Elizabeth Stone is credited with this comment.

Well, now let's connect this to the passage in Hebrews that I read this morning.

I am in the first chapter, verses four through nine.  It a continuation of yesterday's focus on the identity of Jesus.  It begins by identifying Jesus as God's Son.  God makes it very clear, Jesus was Fathered (begotten) by the Heavenly Father; then He says that He will be a Father to Him and Jesus will be His Son.  He emphasizes the relationship so there is no doubt who Jesus is.

Jumping down to verse nine we see that the Father anointed His Son with the "Oil of Gladness."
I love to hit the concordance to learn the original meaning from the original language.  Gladness in this case is "Exuberant Joy!"
I get the picture of Papa's joy being shared with His Son.  The joy flows from their relationship, which they have shared from all eternity.  Yet, in this case, I imagine it is focused on why the Father has begotten a flesh and blood Son.
If we flip a few pages over to the twelfth chapter of Hebrews, we read in the second verse that Jesus endured the cross for "the Joy set before Him."  What is that joy?  Bringing more sons into the kingdom!  He rejoiced to be the One Who would fulfill His Father's will to make the way for us into the Heavenly Kingdom!
Jesus is indeed the Father's Heart!!

Isn't that cool!!  So much love and joy is bound up in the Heart of God for us!

I want to share what else was brought to my attention in those few verses in Hebrews.
The passage compares Jesus and angels.  It is something to pay close attention to, as there are many today that are into angels. 
Many worship angels.  Not the way it is meant to be.  Actually, throughout scripture when someone encountered an angel, the angel told them not to worship them!
Angels are to worship Jesus and they do!  Angels are His ministers (servants) and are His "winds," "flames of fire."  Both of which are transient; just passing through.
Jesus is eternal; nothing transient about Him!

The Throne of this Son, who is to be worshipped, is His forever!  He rules in Righteousness.  That means it is all good!  This ruler loves righteousness and hates, yes hates (!) lawlessness.
He is loving, but He is Holy.  Do not be deceived!

To be a king, one must be anointed.  It marks a person as set apart for the position.  I picture the Father joyfully marking His only Son to be the King of Kings.
Are you catching the joy?  I hope so.  I know that is what the Heart of Papa desires for each one!

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

A Battle

The past few days have found me a little overwhelmed.
Overwhelmed by details.
Overwhelmed by darkness.
Overwhelmed by a desire to dispel both.

Let me share a little about the darkness, as the details are just the usual; they continue to ebb and flow on a regular basis.

The Darkness.
Ray and I spent the weekend on Long Island with family.  The purpose was to celebrate the youngest of all the sisters' children turning eighteen.  A good reason to throw a party!

The family is still grieving, as well as the extended family and close friends.  Sara left a huge hole.
My sister, her mother is distraught in her grief.  I can only imagine how heartbreaking it is to lose your child.  I hope I never know!
Everyone grabs onto one way or another to mask their pain and to be able to function on a daily basis.  There is only One Way that brings true comfort and healing.
No one, that I could see, is seeking that way, the God of all comfort.  It is painful to watch.

No light, just a whole lot of darkness and the blindness that comes with it.

My honey and I spent the night with my sister and her fiancee.   After the men retired for the night we sisters sat together for a while.  At one point I just held my sister as she wept.
I cried out to Papa for her.  At first she seemed to relax in my arms, but then became so uncomfortable that she had to leave the room.

Such darkness.  So much despair and hopelessness.
Grief is not something that can be avoided.  That is impossible.  However, to try to deal with it apart from the One Who has overcome death and darkness is also impossible.

How I long for everyone to see my Jesus!  He is indeed the Light of the world. 
this morning Papa reminded me that He has overcome the world!  He has also made us "more than conquerors!"

Who is this One whose arm is not too short and with whom nothing is impossible?
I have begun a study of Hebrews and here is what we learn in just the first three verses:

Jesus....God's final Word
Jesus....God's Heir - of all things
Jesus....Co-Creator with the Father
Jesus....Radiance of His glory
Jesus....Exact representation of God's nature
Jesus....Upholds all things by the Word of His Power (check out the first chapter of Colossians!)
Jesus....Purifications for my sins!
Jesus....Seated at the right hand of the Majesty on High (Papa!)

Once He paid for our sins, He took a seat at the Father's right hand and you know what He is doing there?  He's talking about us!  He is interceding for us!  He tells Papa, "That one's mine!"
Our God cares about every detail and He is the answer to all our struggles, all our grief and all that life can throw at us. 
He has left the Comforter right here.  We need only aks and we will receive.

After meditating on Who my Jesus is and taking Him at His Word, I realize that there is nothing to be overwhelmed by. 
He can handle the details and He certainly has handled the darkness!
What is my part?  To take my position in this battle.
What is my position?  In Christ!  I, indeed, am more than a conqueror!
The darkness will not last!  The Light is Jesus, my conqueror!