On Hold?

Hello there my friends!
I don’t know about you, but this has been a challenging week for me!
Actually, I am pretty certain you have had your own challenges.
Even if we weren’t in the midst of this pandemic life usually presents us with a few on a regular basis. No doubt!

The season we are in has definitely presented extraordinary challenges.
The challenges of how to adjust our daily lives are ongoing.
So much that we took for granted isn’t even a choice right now.

For me the biggest challenge is not being able to hold those family dinners!  Then there is the inability to pop over to visit a friend or meet someone for coffee.
Relationships. They are still in tact, but at a distance.

I am grateful for FaceTime, Skype and Zoom! I may not be able to hug anyone, but at least I can talk face to face with them!

As I’m sure you are aware, there are many things on the challenge list, but there is no need to rehearse them.
What we need to do is focus on how we handle them.

Over the years, as I spent time with some precious people that struggled with addiction one of the common comments was...”I can’t wait to get back to my life.”
Many people in this world are echoing those words.

My response then and now?  ”What is it you are living now? Someone else’s life?”

I know what most everyone means is they want to get back to life as they knew it.
I get it.
However, no-one should dare to view their lives as on hold until the current situation they find themselves in passes.

There is a good challenge during this time.....seize the time to learn and grow!

Get to know your God better.
And thus get to know yourself better.
This will lead to strengthened relationships first with Papa and yourself and then with your dear family and friends.  Even at a distance.

What have you always intended to delve into but never found the time?
What refreshes your soul? Explore!

This week Papa, in His grace drew me out of a number of funks, so I could be living my life instead of wishing it were different.

On Monday I was feeling unsettled and not happy that the rest of the week was going to be wet and cold.  Then a gentle thought came that I was wasting a perfectly beautiful day worrying about tomorrow!  So I got out of the house and went for a hike alongside a river.
The sound of the river, along with the birds chirping happily in the trees along the banks and the crunch of my boots on the path settled my soul.

How gracious our God is!
A cousin of mine says He is extravagant in His grace and love. I agree!

Tuesday was wet and cold, but it is the day I watch my precious grandson while mommy and daddy work. Nothing blesses one’s heart more than a little one who is learning and growing before your eyes!  This kept me from dwelling on all the other grandkids and loved ones I cannot be with right now.
Grandma slept well that night, as he is now nine months old and in constant motion!

I have been using a shopping service for some of my groceries, but I have found it uncomfortable and it has felt disconnected to me.  Until Wednesday.
When an item isn’t available the shopper will message you to see if he can substitute it with another item.
This happened and as we exchanged messages the shopper was getting stressed by the app and, I believe, the whole shopping thing.  I learned later that he normally does tree work and just took this job so he could have some income right now. As a typical guy shopping isn’t fun for him.
Some of his messages had me doubled over laughing!
Papa also allowed me to lighten the mood for him too.

So is this my typical life? It is for now. Life isn’t on hold. It’s just different.
I believe it will never go back to what it was so I had better be flexible!

Now we come to Thursday.
I had been praying nonstop for a friend who had CF. She was in the hospital for quite a while waiting for two compatible lungs. The surgery happened in January and she went home a couple of weeks ago.
Somehow she caught COVID-19. She died yesterday leaving a ten year old daughter. I told my God it just wasn’t right! True injustice!
What do I know?  Not much.
I do know Papa is loving and good. This is the One who brought me peace in the midst of this heartbreak.
 I know He doesn’t cause these calamities and injustices, but is intending to redeem all the brokenness. We need but rest in Him.

To rest in Him we need to get to know Him. We have the opportunity right now.
Today is a perfect time to draw nearer Him.
I know that was His intention for me this Friday.
I’m spending the day on the couch waiting for the reaction to the shingles shot to pass.
That’s life.
My life.
A perfect time to draw near my great God and live my life in its fullness!

“Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.”
‭‭James‬ ‭4:8‬ a NASB‬‬

“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High Will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the LORD, “My refuge and my fortress, My God, in whom I trust!””
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭91:1-2‬ ‭NASB‬‬

The Illusion of Control

Dearest Ones, I am in a quandary as to what to entitle this post.
You, of course, know the title as you are reading the finished product!
“Control”or “Acceptance” are my top choices at the moment.

A few days ago I had the title or so I thought...
As I was journaling I had a few thoughts for a fresh post. My journaling is between Papa and me. So when my heart heard “How about Control?” I knew Who was speaking.

My mind starting forming ideas of how to approach this subject....
How I have learned to let go of the false belief that I have control over much.
How others try to control you.
How freeing it is to let go.
How important it was to be still and sit with one’s thoughts.
Etc!

The last few days my God has revealed to me what He had in mind.
The intention was to help this lady realize she had been reverting to old behaviors! Very controlling behaviors!

I am a lover of lists.
Having lists means you can check things off, which gives a sense of accomplishment, at least to me.
Lists are not a problem in themselves...it’s what we do with them.  Do we allow them to control us?

Back in the day I would make impossible lists for each day and then go crazy trying to complete them.  I liked to stay on top of everything at all times!

A list from forty plus years ago had many typical things on it with the addition, one particular day, of reupholstering the couch. The thing is I expected to accomplish all my usual tasks AND get that couch covered all in one day. Do or die!
I did it too!
Only problem was it required neglecting and abusing loved ones, including myself,  as this driven woman became very grouchy!

I have learned that one must be realistic.   Whenever I have tackled projects since then I try to set time aside and accept that something else on “the list” will have to be left undone.

This desire to cross every ‘t’ and dot every ‘i’ has haunted me all my life. This is the foolish drive to be in control at all times!  It is an illusion.
It is one way of keeping so busy you have no time to address what is really going on in your head and heart.

Monday evening I was listening to a Brene Brown podcast in preparation for a zoom meeting with some of the most beautiful women I know.  
I was ironing as I listened
Yes, I still iron!
Anyway, lo and behold the topic was about control and as I listened I thought none of it was new to me. I mean after all I have moved past this!

Back to the ironing...I was ironing because there was something to iron and being back in my old ways it needed doing right then and there!
It had been a full day. We had just sold our old home and I had some loose ends to tie up. Things that had to be moved to the top of the list.
Since I was letting the old self have its way this meant that prioritizing only moved items around on the day’s to do list.
I had to run out before the meeting, which made me late. Something else I like to have control of...time!  I do not like being late!

So, dear friends I was a bit crazed!
Until Papa got my attention.
I was fussing that I would be late. And I was tired.
A simple question came to me. Getting a little weary?
Ah yes my Lord, I am weary! Weary of me and my craziness.

I took a deep breathe, accepted the fact that I would be a little late for my meeting and got a measure of quiet for my soul.

Keeping myself busy to distraction brings unnecessary complications.
Earlier in the day I had written two letters and wanted to include copies of my last blog post. After the meeting I decided to get that done.
It seems I need a fresh lesson...
In my rush I deleted the entire post.
My thoughts and words gone in one tap of my keyboard.

I posted for a few minutes then decided to practice a little yoga and have time being quiet before my God.   I heard...

““Be still and know (recognize, understand) that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations! I will be exalted in the earth.””
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭46:10‬ ‭AMP‬‬

Finally I let everything go.

The following day was a day of reflection and listening.
I’m not anxious over this pandemic.
I do know I am powerless apart from following guidelines. My trust is in my God.
I just do not like feeling restricted. I want to see whom I want to see when I want to see them.
Feeling powerless over many choices that I have normally is unsettling.
Until I admitted this and accepted it I would revert to my frantic behavior.
Papa and I sorted this all out.
Peace has been restored to my soul.

This morning I awoke with a thought of how to recover that deleted post.
The first paragraph is lost, but I was able to repost the rest.

Once I ‘let go and let God’ clarity came.
My God is always in control, but when we are trying to control our world we are too buy to notice.
The solution is to get quiet before the Almighty One. He has it all under control. Even when it seems our world is spinning totally out of control. Much if it is our own doing!
Getting quite before Him allows us to gain His perspective. One that brings peace with it. Then things fall into place!

It’s decided! I’m using ‘Control’ in the title!

The verse I have ended my previous two posts fits here as well.

“So teach us to number our days, That we may cultivate and bring to You a heart of wisdom.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭90:12‬ ‭AMP‬‬

Opportunities

Dear Readers,

The first paragraph of this post from April 7th was inadvertently deleted. However, I decided to repost. May it be a blessing to someone!

I, for one, am choosing to take every opportunity that is afforded me.

These opportunities are meant to help me learn and grow and come out the other side of this crazy time.

I chose the opportunity to have order in my day. I keep to a routine.

And first things first....

Thus....

God first!

Every day we have the opportunity to start afresh with our God.

Like every relationship that we want to see grow, we need to invest time and attention.

No matter what commitments may fill one’s day it is critical to make time to ‘come apart’ so you don’t ‘come apart’!

For me journaling is the first piece.  I dump all my thoughts out and in doing so Papa helps me sort through them. Reading, meditation and prayer follow.

Then I’m ready to go into my day to seize the many opportunities that are mine to pursue.

One opportunity I am taking advantage of is to keep my body moving. This means I practice my yoga on a daily basis and get as many walks in a week as possible.

Today I took two walks.

The first walk was in Litchfield. The walk took me through the Stations of the Cross.  This was an opportunity to reflect on what this week means to me.

I brought my journal and wrote my thoughts down as I walked. For me writing makes more permanent the thoughts and feelings that arise so they do not become lost.

The second walk was after dinner and kept me in my sweet neighborhood.

There are many mature trees around us and quite a few have little buds getting ready to unfurl.

How this made me smile!

I thanked God for the season of spring and that this pandemic didn’t occur in the dead of winter!

Could you imagine if we were more confined? Imagine if it were very cold and overcast?

It would not do anything to lift our mood!

I, for one, become a little blue towards the end of winter.

It wouldn’t have been pretty!

A question came to mind, as I expressed gratitude for the season.

“What else makes you smile?”

My reply?

My sons!

They are wonderful men and I love their sense of humor!

Thinking of some of their antics makes me chuckle!

Reflecting on their kindnesses and love brings a big smile to my face and heart!

Then there is a little eight month old boy who is the best boy!

Oh the list grew and words of gratitude tumbled out in a rush.

Truly I could go on with all that came to mind...all my dear family and friends.

Each one a treasure from Papa to me!

People are the true treasures, aren’t they?

So an opportunity to reflect upon those treasures is available to each of us!

When a name or face comes to mind that we wouldn’t truthfully be able to declare a treasure, we have the opportunity to bring them before our God and learn to see through His eyes.

You might be reading my words and wondering if I’m for real...how can anyone be so positive?

Well, I have my moments when I find myself down and anxious. But I have learned that what one focuses on grows bigger, so I turn my eyes to my God!

He can never grow too big!

I love writing and over the years have had some periods of time where the words just flowed.

Then they seem to dry up.

I’m taking the opportunity to get back into the flow. It is the perfect time, as I seem to have some extra room in my schedule!

All that journaling and those walks I take give the Spirit the opportunity to speak to my heart. Thoughts arise that I know are not from me.

Perspectives are presented that I need to consider.

Directions and paths are fine tuned.

When I’m willing and open that is!

I must confess that for a while I was chaffing at the bit, as I thought I had all the opportunities lined up for the foreseeable future. The majority of them had to be put on hold until who knows when?

Then there are all the family gatherings that, too, are on hold.

I could list many things I do not like at the moment, but then I would be missing the opportunities that are available to me!

So by the grace of God I choose acceptance of what I cannot change and the courage to change the things I can.

What can I change?

My attitude!

Then with a change in direction I can...

Go after ever opportunity Papa has made available to me to help me learn more about myself and Him.  Opportunities that lay a fresh path that is less cluttered!

The opportunities are endless!

Look around...what opportunities has the Living God made available for you?

We can start by praying...

“So teach us to number our days, That we may cultivate and bring to You a heart of wisdom.”

Psalm 90:12