Dearest Ones, I am in a quandary as to what to entitle this post.
You, of course, know the title as you are reading the finished product!
“Control”or “Acceptance” are my top choices at the moment.
A few days ago I had the title or so I thought...
As I was journaling I had a few thoughts for a fresh post. My journaling is between Papa and me. So when my heart heard “How about Control?” I knew Who was speaking.
My mind starting forming ideas of how to approach this subject....
How I have learned to let go of the false belief that I have control over much.
How others try to control you.
How freeing it is to let go.
How important it was to be still and sit with one’s thoughts.
Etc!
The last few days my God has revealed to me what He had in mind.
The intention was to help this lady realize she had been reverting to old behaviors! Very controlling behaviors!
I am a lover of lists.
Having lists means you can check things off, which gives a sense of accomplishment, at least to me.
Lists are not a problem in themselves...it’s what we do with them. Do we allow them to control us?
Back in the day I would make impossible lists for each day and then go crazy trying to complete them. I liked to stay on top of everything at all times!
A list from forty plus years ago had many typical things on it with the addition, one particular day, of reupholstering the couch. The thing is I expected to accomplish all my usual tasks AND get that couch covered all in one day. Do or die!
I did it too!
Only problem was it required neglecting and abusing loved ones, including myself, as this driven woman became very grouchy!
I have learned that one must be realistic. Whenever I have tackled projects since then I try to set time aside and accept that something else on “the list” will have to be left undone.
This desire to cross every ‘t’ and dot every ‘i’ has haunted me all my life. This is the foolish drive to be in control at all times! It is an illusion.
It is one way of keeping so busy you have no time to address what is really going on in your head and heart.
Monday evening I was listening to a Brene Brown podcast in preparation for a zoom meeting with some of the most beautiful women I know.
I was ironing as I listened
Yes, I still iron!
Anyway, lo and behold the topic was about control and as I listened I thought none of it was new to me. I mean after all I have moved past this!
Back to the ironing...I was ironing because there was something to iron and being back in my old ways it needed doing right then and there!
It had been a full day. We had just sold our old home and I had some loose ends to tie up. Things that had to be moved to the top of the list.
Since I was letting the old self have its way this meant that prioritizing only moved items around on the day’s to do list.
I had to run out before the meeting, which made me late. Something else I like to have control of...time! I do not like being late!
So, dear friends I was a bit crazed!
Until Papa got my attention.
I was fussing that I would be late. And I was tired.
A simple question came to me. Getting a little weary?
Ah yes my Lord, I am weary! Weary of me and my craziness.
I took a deep breathe, accepted the fact that I would be a little late for my meeting and got a measure of quiet for my soul.
Keeping myself busy to distraction brings unnecessary complications.
Earlier in the day I had written two letters and wanted to include copies of my last blog post. After the meeting I decided to get that done.
It seems I need a fresh lesson...
In my rush I deleted the entire post.
My thoughts and words gone in one tap of my keyboard.
I posted for a few minutes then decided to practice a little yoga and have time being quiet before my God. I heard...
““Be still and know (recognize, understand) that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations! I will be exalted in the earth.””
Psalms 46:10 AMP
Finally I let everything go.
The following day was a day of reflection and listening.
I’m not anxious over this pandemic.
I do know I am powerless apart from following guidelines. My trust is in my God.
I just do not like feeling restricted. I want to see whom I want to see when I want to see them.
Feeling powerless over many choices that I have normally is unsettling.
Until I admitted this and accepted it I would revert to my frantic behavior.
Papa and I sorted this all out.
Peace has been restored to my soul.
This morning I awoke with a thought of how to recover that deleted post.
The first paragraph is lost, but I was able to repost the rest.
Once I ‘let go and let God’ clarity came.
My God is always in control, but when we are trying to control our world we are too buy to notice.
The solution is to get quiet before the Almighty One. He has it all under control. Even when it seems our world is spinning totally out of control. Much if it is our own doing!
Getting quite before Him allows us to gain His perspective. One that brings peace with it. Then things fall into place!
It’s decided! I’m using ‘Control’ in the title!
The verse I have ended my previous two posts fits here as well.
“So teach us to number our days, That we may cultivate and bring to You a heart of wisdom.”
Psalms 90:12 AMP
You, of course, know the title as you are reading the finished product!
“Control”or “Acceptance” are my top choices at the moment.
A few days ago I had the title or so I thought...
As I was journaling I had a few thoughts for a fresh post. My journaling is between Papa and me. So when my heart heard “How about Control?” I knew Who was speaking.
My mind starting forming ideas of how to approach this subject....
How I have learned to let go of the false belief that I have control over much.
How others try to control you.
How freeing it is to let go.
How important it was to be still and sit with one’s thoughts.
Etc!
The last few days my God has revealed to me what He had in mind.
The intention was to help this lady realize she had been reverting to old behaviors! Very controlling behaviors!
I am a lover of lists.
Having lists means you can check things off, which gives a sense of accomplishment, at least to me.
Lists are not a problem in themselves...it’s what we do with them. Do we allow them to control us?
Back in the day I would make impossible lists for each day and then go crazy trying to complete them. I liked to stay on top of everything at all times!
A list from forty plus years ago had many typical things on it with the addition, one particular day, of reupholstering the couch. The thing is I expected to accomplish all my usual tasks AND get that couch covered all in one day. Do or die!
I did it too!
Only problem was it required neglecting and abusing loved ones, including myself, as this driven woman became very grouchy!
I have learned that one must be realistic. Whenever I have tackled projects since then I try to set time aside and accept that something else on “the list” will have to be left undone.
This desire to cross every ‘t’ and dot every ‘i’ has haunted me all my life. This is the foolish drive to be in control at all times! It is an illusion.
It is one way of keeping so busy you have no time to address what is really going on in your head and heart.
Monday evening I was listening to a Brene Brown podcast in preparation for a zoom meeting with some of the most beautiful women I know.
I was ironing as I listened
Yes, I still iron!
Anyway, lo and behold the topic was about control and as I listened I thought none of it was new to me. I mean after all I have moved past this!
Back to the ironing...I was ironing because there was something to iron and being back in my old ways it needed doing right then and there!
It had been a full day. We had just sold our old home and I had some loose ends to tie up. Things that had to be moved to the top of the list.
Since I was letting the old self have its way this meant that prioritizing only moved items around on the day’s to do list.
I had to run out before the meeting, which made me late. Something else I like to have control of...time! I do not like being late!
So, dear friends I was a bit crazed!
Until Papa got my attention.
I was fussing that I would be late. And I was tired.
A simple question came to me. Getting a little weary?
Ah yes my Lord, I am weary! Weary of me and my craziness.
I took a deep breathe, accepted the fact that I would be a little late for my meeting and got a measure of quiet for my soul.
Keeping myself busy to distraction brings unnecessary complications.
Earlier in the day I had written two letters and wanted to include copies of my last blog post. After the meeting I decided to get that done.
It seems I need a fresh lesson...
In my rush I deleted the entire post.
My thoughts and words gone in one tap of my keyboard.
I posted for a few minutes then decided to practice a little yoga and have time being quiet before my God. I heard...
““Be still and know (recognize, understand) that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations! I will be exalted in the earth.””
Psalms 46:10 AMP
Finally I let everything go.
The following day was a day of reflection and listening.
I’m not anxious over this pandemic.
I do know I am powerless apart from following guidelines. My trust is in my God.
I just do not like feeling restricted. I want to see whom I want to see when I want to see them.
Feeling powerless over many choices that I have normally is unsettling.
Until I admitted this and accepted it I would revert to my frantic behavior.
Papa and I sorted this all out.
Peace has been restored to my soul.
This morning I awoke with a thought of how to recover that deleted post.
The first paragraph is lost, but I was able to repost the rest.
Once I ‘let go and let God’ clarity came.
My God is always in control, but when we are trying to control our world we are too buy to notice.
The solution is to get quiet before the Almighty One. He has it all under control. Even when it seems our world is spinning totally out of control. Much if it is our own doing!
Getting quite before Him allows us to gain His perspective. One that brings peace with it. Then things fall into place!
It’s decided! I’m using ‘Control’ in the title!
The verse I have ended my previous two posts fits here as well.
“So teach us to number our days, That we may cultivate and bring to You a heart of wisdom.”
Psalms 90:12 AMP
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