"It's so hard to see
when my eyes are on me."
Keith Green
What is it we should be seeing instead of being focused on self?
His Hand.
His Heart.
Both reveal His Love.
His Hand is always extended in love. We are misled, at times, because we tend to expect His Love to bring immediate victory. He is about transformation not quick fixes.
His Heart longs for a ever deepening relationship with each one of us. He will go to any lengths to have this relationship with us.
That was proven on Calvary, where His Son made the ultimate sacrifice!
This morning I read Ezekiel chapter thirty-seven. It is the chapter where the LORD shows Ezekiel a valley filled with dry, dead bones. They represented God's people, who had turned away from Him. The result was barrenness of their very souls.
I remember what that barrenness feels like.
In the following verses of this chapter those bones received sinew, then skin and finally the whole body was given breath. This was not a revival or spiritual CPR, it was re-creation.
Our God does not patch things up. Jesus, as an analogy, spoke of what happens to old wineskins with new patches. They tear.
He is the Creator not the repairer.
So I for one, need to keep my eyes on Him.
He longs for and thoroughly enjoys being our all in all. I am reminded over and over that as I spend time with Him in prayer, power fills my life; power, peace and especially love.
Then I can go visit my husband.
Ray's days are full now. Our visits are woven through with all types of therapy sessions.
He is progressing. I want to focus on that fact, instead of how frail and thin he looks or how he is can barely drag his left foot; on and on.
Matt and I are now cleared to help Ray move from chair to bed, etc. I actually helped him move earlier today and found out afterward that I hadn't received clearance yet. Oops!
We saw Marc, the PA, today and received a few updates. Ray will most likely be moved to a convalescent rehab facility July first. He is still unable to toilet himself and also needs to be catherized, so Gaylord's Trauig Center is out, for now.
This coming Tuesday they will remove Ray's feeding tube without any anesthesia. (!) Marc said it will hurt badly but briefly. Matt said, "What about an eight out of ten?" He thought he was joking until Marc nodded. Lovely.
July fifteenth Ray has an appointment with the ortho specialist, who will determine whether the cervical collar can be removed. If it is, I am giving him a shave and a haircut pronto!
Tonight I received a call from the hospital. My husband decided to try to get out of his chair himself. The result was that his left knee buckled and he hit the floor. He was on his knees when the nurse ran in. Ray's fine, just humbled. He apologized to the nurse.
They have now attached an alarm to him and his chair.
Ray has a t-shirt that simply says, "Surrender."
It is a comfort to know the One Who we can surrender to. Not to circumstances, not to feelings, but to the God Whose Hand is gentle and whose Heart is tender.
Papa's Hand has led thus far. We are trusting His Heart, which holds more Love than we can fathom to continue to lead.
May this adventure find us drawing nearer our Blessed LORD every step or dragged foot of the way!