Saturday, March 12, 2011

In Process

An unsettled feeling has kept me company for a good part of this day.   I have felt vaguely disconnected and that makes me a little grumpy, which in turns causes me to be very quiet.  I have learned to be a person of few words when the words that might be first to pass my lips may just reflect my 'not too cheery' disposition.

After dinner I checked the TV listings for the evening, which is pretty extensive.  It wasn't surprising when nothing was found worth viewing.  Netflix was no better. 
I recalled a flash drive a dear friend had left with me.  She had a number of her pastor's sermons on it and thought I might enjoy listening to them. 
This is how Papa desired me to use my time.

He knows that I am usually not overly thrilled when someone passes a book, CD, etc. to me unsolicited.  I always have a pile of my own that I am working my way through without adding something I hadn't even been considering.

Now and then something comes my way and I know it is from Him.  Often I know because of the spirit of the messenger.  The flash drive's owner has such a sweet, pure spirit that I knew there was no hidden agenda and that it was definitely our Papa at work.

How blessed I am to have such friends!  If friends were flowers then my garden would be filled with a riot of color and fragrances!  Each precious one is uniquely beautiful.   What a gift friendship is!

In opening the drive I discovered quite a few messages, including a few sets of series.  One immediately caught my attention.  It was on purity of heart.
The speaker's focus was on seeking God with a pure heart, a heart that wants Him and His way above all else.

I started to think about how easy it is to get off track.  So often the true motive behind seeking Him is our comfort.  Then there is everything that comes our way to distract and derail us.  At times I have found that while I thought I was on track, in truth, I was going along on the rutted path that runs near, but definitely not on the track!

Purity of heart entails looking fully to Jesus.  When we do He gives us eyes to see as he sees.  As we truly see, all the 'stuff' of life will be put into perspective and all that is of true value will be much more evident to us.
As we look to Him and trust Him He will be free to work in us.  The work will involve more purifying. 
My friend's pastor spoke of the process of purifying which does not add anything, but removes impurities. 
That involves heat.  To purify gold, it must be heated up until the impurities surface.  Then they can be removed.  The refiner keeps at the process until he can see his image in the gold's reflection.  That takes quite a bit of heat, but the final result is a thing of beauty!

So did this message address the unsettled feeling that I was grappling with?  In part, yes.

Until this past year I was free to spend time with Papa unhindered.  It was lovely.
Now it is rare that I am alone and even when I am there are so many responsibilities vying for my attention that I often give into them.
Yet, those are empty excuses. I need but "Be still and know that He is God." 
He meets me every time, at every turn. 

When I am tired, which I have been for a while now, I am more vulnerable to the enemy's suggestions.  I continue to have this miserable cough.  Mindy suggested I see the doctor.  I just might do that this week.

To be honest, another part of this unsettled feeling came from being with some of my long-time friends in the past few weeks.   Papa has been reconnecting us and I have been realizing how much I miss them! 
Silly me.  I spend too much time in my head and then limit the blessings that He intends for me.

Ah Papa, I am so glad that You love this child unconditionally. 
Thank You for the refining process. 
It will be a privilege...No! ..the ultimate privilege for You to be able to see Your own reflection in me some day!!

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