Monday, December 6, 2010


Being human isn't easy.  We are complicated creatures, at least I am!
It amazes me how such a range of emotions can be felt in a very brief time span.  I imagine that, at times, my brain is in one big tizzy!   Just as something, whether word, action, image or whatever, triggers an emotion then BANG another, then another; with each comes a related emotion.  Yikes!!
It can wear a person out!

I enjoy sitting here and sharing my thoughts.  Often there will be something on my heart that I know I'm to put into a posting.   I can become very singleminded and do not like it when I cannot find the time to write.
Life justs get too full sometimes.  Quite regularly it fills with things that I have little control over.
This is when I need to remember that Papa is still in control and that He will help me find the time for what He has for me to do.  That includes any writing that I am to do.

Just this morning I told Him that it is my prayer that my life would reflect the fact that I have received Good News of Great Joy.  May that be evident first to Papa and then to everyone else around me!
So that means I cannot be stewing over not being able to do what I want when I want!

What other emotions have been swirling in this head of mine?
Probably more than I even know!  However, one I know for certain is gratitude.  Gratitude for how so much more than our needs are met every day.  So many show such kindnesses to us. 
Yes, people are kind and supportive.  Many are cheering us on and get excited to hear of Ray's progress.  Today was no exception.  Someone I was speaking with was so happy to hear of my honey's latest gains.
During the conversation I realized that I was not feeling the joy like my friend.  Afterward I gave it some thought.
Of course, I am thrilled over how Papa is working in Ray's physical body.  He has come a long way.  The problem is that many have no idea of just how changed our lives and relationship are because of Ray's condition.  They can't really know, but their ignorance just seems to remind me of how different many things are now.

What to do with all that churns within me?  There is only one answer.
Go to Papa.
In Psalm twenty-seven I read:
"One thing I have asked from the LORD, that I shall seek;
That I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life,
To behold the beauty of the LORD,
And to meditate in His temple.
For in the day of trouble He will conceal me in His tabernacle;
In the secret place of His tent He will hide me;
He will lift me up on a rock.
And now my head will be lifted up above my enemies around me;
And I will offer in His tent sacrifices with shouts of joy;
I will sing, yes I will sing praises to the LORD."
Sometimes those "enemies" are within oneself. 
When I worship Him the focus is on Him and in looking up, my head and heart are lifted up by the One I look to!  For He is still and always on the Throne!  And this King, this Holy One loves me and intends to work all things out for good in my life!
That stirs my heart and make my heart spin.  It is a good tizzy this time!

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