Saturday, October 16, 2010

Remember the rollercoaster ride I have mentioned in the past? Well, it is still running.... this one isn't seasonal, unfortunately!
I get lonely. My (our) life is very predictable for the most part. I get bored.
After overhearing part of Matt and Mindy's discussion about how to spend their weekend last night, I got to thinking. Thinking is overrated at times!
Ray and I were always doing something. We had separate interests and things we did together. Life was interesting. It was a challenge to fit it all in.

He isn't interested in doing much these days. We have learned not to give him an option, but just take him along wherever we might be going.
Our days can be busy, but then comes the lull. That's when it gets a bit boring.
One thought led to another. Our anniversary in next month. I will express the desire to go to dinner to celebrate. He'll agree, but it won't be the same.
We really do not have much conversation. My honey responds to questions, but generally is not drawn into a real conversation. Imagine Ray Reynolds doesn't have much to say!

Those were the thoughts rambling around in this head.
With that Matt happened to come into the room to talk to me. Let's all go to dinner tomorrow night! How about that Japanese restaurant in Waterbury?
I am so amazed how Papa meets my every need and longing!
Matt and I have a deal. I handle the books for his new company and he and Mindy treat Ray and me to dinner once a month or so. He had wanted to pay me, but I am just glad to help him with his new business! The dinner is our compromise.
Papa knew that and, of course, His timing is perfect!

I am still working on staying in the present - to simply "be". That is what my God does. He is fully present. He is the great "IAM." He is ever present.
He is my example. He calls me to be like Him. That includes staying present. I get into trouble when I slip away into yesterday or tomorrow.

The longing for more fellowship has been growing. More fellowship would help with the lonely and bored issues. Though my relationship with Jesus is a deeply personal one, it is in the midst of a body. He desires the body to be united and not to miss out on gathering together.

I've been thinking about this issue. Good thinking this time.
Reflecting back on "church" times that were what I believe He intends our fellowship to be, a few instances stand out.
Over the years I have been involved in a number of small "cell" groups. In these groups there was real connection. We shared our lives with one another. We prayed for each other, we found encouragement and insight; blessing! Yes, food was involved at some point. It simply wasn't the focus.
This fellowship is much more than what is called such that happens for fifteen minutes after a church service.

I long for the new testament church.
I have a confession to make. I have not attended a church service since Ray has come home. It is a challenge to get him ready in time, as well as myself!
Do I miss it? No. Oh, I miss faces, but always found it less than satisfying to try to connect over a quick cup of coffee.
I do miss the sharing of the LORD'S Supper (communion).

Years ago I was at a women's conference and the final time together included sharing communion. I was surrounded by a number of close friends, which deepened the experience for me.
Papa showed me something during the serving of the bread and wine (juice, in this case). The picture of a river of blood threading its way in and around us filled my mind and took me up into an experience of it. It was amazing.
What did it mean? We are connected in Christ through His Blood, which He shed for us. This is the uniting factor.
That is the kind of connection I am looking for, so I look to Papa to meet this very real and important need.
You'll be the first to hear how He works this out. I know He will! Papa loves to bless and this is something that is near and dear to His heart too.
In Ephesians we are reminded that in Him we are blessed with every spiritual blessing. To join as His body to worship Him and grow together is a large part of those blessings.
Let me end by encouraging you to read that first chapter of Ephesians and make a list of all that we have in Christ. You will need a full sheet of paper!

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