Grace

Did you ever feel aimless?  Without direction or purpose?
That is how I have been feeling.
I have lost my oomph and can't find it.
These past couple of weeks have felt very long and pointless.
The cough persists and my energy is low.

I feel like I am on a shelf somewhere just observing life as it passes by.  Same old, same old.  Nothing exciting to report. I do not like it.

Those were my thoughts as I sat down to create this post.  However, as I clicked the link to my blog the words "carried by grace" seemed to stand out.  It is a reminder to me from My Blessed Heavenly Father.  He is carrying me by His grace.
Grace is unmerited favor.  My God chooses to show me His favor because He loves me, not because I have earned it.
How He and His love blow me away!

I have had so much time on my hands and not much to distract me from thinking a lot. (Not good.) Illness has a way of casting a shadow on one's mind and situation.
Often I am not aware of how the shadow is deepening.
Papa has brought it to my attention and we have been having some dialogue about this miserable shadow.

I have been weepy.  Relationships cause my tears to flow.  Relationships in real life or books or movies, it doesn't matter.  I have been having a case of the "poor mes!"
Ray and I had just arrived at a time in our life where we could enjoy each other and be more spontaneous in what we did with our time together.
No more.
It is a different life now and it might just stay this way for the most part.
Ray continues to make progress but it is very subtle these days.  He is being graduated from Speech Therapy this coming Friday, which will make room for more Aquatic Therapy.  He will continue to gain more strength, but not to his former strength, nor personality.

"This too will pass."  "And it came to pass."  These are two bits of scripture that I like to remind myself.
Everything in this life is temporary. 
My God and His promises are eternal.

I continue my way through the book of Hebrews and after reading part of the tenth chapter today I noted in my journal that it is by His grace and power that I can persevere.
I know that spring will come to both my body and soul, as well as the outdoors.  Yet, I do not need to wait for spring to arrive anywhere.  I can look to my LORD now.

Psalm three speaks to my heart.
"O LORD, how my adversaries have increased!
Many are rising up against me.
Many are saying of my soul, 'There is no deliverance for him (her) in God.'
But You, O LORD are a shield about me,
My glory, and the One who lifts my head.
I was crying to the LORD with my voice,
And He answered me from His holy mountain.
I lay down and slept;
I awoke, for the LORD sustains me."

My adversaries are my own thoughts and on my own there is no deliverance.  However, I am not on my own.  My God is my protector.  He is the One who gently raises up my head.
And when my head is lifted up Whose Face do I see?  My God's!
With that I lay my head against His breast and rest.  He will raise me up in His time.  He will renew my purpose and energy and hope.
By His grace I am certain to be carried through all this life.