Thursday, January 13, 2011

On The Clock?

Did you ever notice that time doesn't seem important to God?  The ever-present One is not bound by time.  It would be very helpful if I kept that fact in mind, but it goes against my grain.
When something finds its way onto my "To Do List", I want to have at it.  Right away! 
I try to bring my list before Papa on a regular basis.  It is my desire to have Him order my life and lists.
Of course, how I work my way through the list is an entirely different story!

As you know, Papa put something on the list recently - Write a book.
Not such a small thing.  Yet, it just occurred to me that I am approaching it as if it were just that, something to check off the list.  Maybe that is part of the problem.

Yes, there is a problem.  I think it is me. 
As Pogo said, "We have met the enemy and it is us!"

I like to be able to check things off my list.  I find it unsettling if they hang around too long.  What does that say about long-term projects?  Oh, oh.
I like to focus on the project and forget everything else. 
It is unrealistic for me, especially in my current situation, to expect no interruptions.

So what does this have to do with God and time.  Well, just because He assigns me a task, it does not mean that I am not to come up for air, nor should I be unwilling to give someone else a little air!
Something else I am learning is that Papa is not so much about the task being accomplished, as the lessons learned along the way.  None of us are responsible for the results, just whether we have followed where He leads.  After all He is in the business of character building, one person at a time.

Me thinks my emotions are astir again too!
On Tuesday I decided to go back and read some of the initial emails that I had sent out after Ray's accident.  I found myself reliving those first few days.  A huge sobbing sigh found its way out of me.  What emotions were wrapped in it?  Grief to be sure, but also gratitude, comfort and joy.  God is faithful.  He knew what was coming and met me at every turn.  There has not been one need that has gone unmet!

Since then I haven't written. 

Yes, yesterday was a snow day so the house was very busy and, of course, I had to take time to go tubing!  The snow was so deep that going up the hill once enabled me to check off "workout" on my list!  :)
Many things got in the way today too. 
Today Ray needed to get bloodwork done in the morning, as he was fasting.  Errands followed and since then I have been wrestling with disability paperwork.

So are those legitimate excuses for not doing any work on the book? 
I think Papa is telling me that I don't need to dig up any excuses.  I am on His timetable and we all know what that means - heavenly time gets factored in!

I most likely wouldn't have done anything with the book today even if no appointments were on the calendar and there was no paperwork to do.
My heart and mind need to reflect on the emotions that have been stirred up and once my God and I sort through them, I know the words will come.
On the other hand, the stuff of life will continue to happen and I will need to give each detail my attention.  My LORD knows and it is part of the plan.

I do not need to let the ticking of the clock govern what I do nor should I let it pressure me.

So teach me (us) to number my (our) days, so that I (we) may present to you a heart of wisdom.
Psalm Ninety, verse twelve

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