What do You want me to share here, Papa?
The past few days I have felt deflated. If I were a balloon, I would have not only lost all my air, but there would be a tear across my surface. A jagged tear.
This is not the first time that I have been blindsided. It is not the first time that I have been sent sprawling and ended up flat on my face with no energy to pick myself up again.
I have been stunned into silence. You, Dearest Papa, have taught me how to be silent.
You have taught me to cry out for You to "set a guard upon my lips, O LORD."
I know to speak out of hurt and pain is unwise. I will continue to wait until You give me the right words. You are the Master Wordsmith.
As I have been sorting through my feelings, You have spoken into my pain and sense of betrayal.
Truly You have responded to my every cry.
Going through my every day I have tried to do what is right and kind and good. You know that I have fallen short over and over, yet You have blessed my efforts and I am grateful.
Human nature, generally, does not care about my efforts, nor my feelings, but is out for itself. As that thought crossed my mind and I visited with it for a little while I thought how I had been betrayed. As I had reached out to do good, it seems it was received with a false smile more often than I care to know.
At this point You, my tender Papa, whispered to me, "Who do you do all of this for?"
I was reminded that it is for You alone that I desire to do anything. You and I both know that it is not with a pure motive, but we are working on that problem. Knowing that all I commit to You and desire to honor You with is never wasted is a comfort. This truth lifts my heart and spirit. I find that the tear is not so ragged and that a nail-scarred Hand is tenderly covering my wound.
When pain comes, when sorrow comes, when we feel left high and dry...He is there...He is here!
My God is present. He is never away or at a distance. When I look up I always find Him. And His Presence changes everything. I read a comment by Max Lucado this morning. He said,
"There is never a non-sacred moment."Where God is it is sacred. He is here! I can expect Him to redeem every moment. After all, He is the Redeemer.
Max also reminded me that my LORD is in it with me. No matter what "it" is.
Yesterday evening my Bible study group was studying another name of God. It was "The Lion of Judah."
In scripture it also refers to the enemy as one who
"prowls about like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour."As I prayed, Papa gave me a picture. In comparison to the Lion of Judah he is a housecat that has been declawed and defanged!!
Today I began to prepare the study for next Monday. It is my turn to lead. The study's focus is on the name "Living God."
As I worked my way through different passages I was impressed with all the evidence that He is living. Deuteronomy Five finds people trembling because they heard His voice.
In Psalm Forty-two He commands, sings and helps His people. None of which can be done by one who is dead.
Jeremiah Ten draws a great picture. The prophet compares idols to God. The idols are made by man's hands and must be carried around. They are blind and deaf. Our God was not created by anyone, but does the creating. He is the LORD of hosts. That means He leads one huge army!
I still hurt. I still need to address that hurt. But I am comforted by the God of comfort. He is living; He is mighty, He is my God, and He is with me!