Thursday, November 4, 2010

Vacuums & Time

This blogger has been silent for a few days, not out of lack of anything to say, but because life has been too full.  It seems that every day has become a vacuum that cries to be filled and without any help from me it is obliged!
I am amazed that nothing is accomplished quickly anymore.  Or so it seems.
Going from point A to point B?  Sounds easy, but it isn't.

It has taken at least three calls, so far, to both Ray's doctor and the disability case worker so that all necessary information is received to extend disability beyond this coming Tuesday.  Most of this has been done via answering machines.  Is everyone so busy that they cannot answer their phone?  I am still unsure where it all stands!
Speaking of calls, my cell phone is an essential part of being organized for me.  I keep all our appointments in it.  This morning the calendar disappeared!  A visit to the vendor confirmed what I feared - it is not returning!  Thank the LORD that I have it backed up on my computer.  Otherwise I would be making many more phone calls!
Now I have another decision to make; what phone should I replace it with?
For years I have been saying that I would like to have a little person in my pocket who I could bring out to make a choice for me.  Usually it was something very pedestrian such as which item to choose off the menu, but now the stakes are higher.

Upon arriving at my appointment to pick up my new reading glasses I was informed that one lens has a slight crack, which is going to be replaced.  I can use them for now, but will need to come back when the replacement arrives.  I could have waited!
Everyone wants a piece of my time and I am starting to feel very stingy with it!

All I want to do is study and write, but Papa has other plans for me.  A little stretching, a few opportunities to learn a bit more patience.  I feel like a child who whines, "WHY?"  "I don't wanna!"

A wise young woman gave me a piece of advice the other night.  She suggested that every time a challenge comes along or an emotion arises I should simply ask Papa what He is attempting to teach me.  What does He want me to see?
Today I purposed to do just that.  I want to please and honor Him and I know lately my impatient restlessness falls short of that goal.
It has been similar to what I imagine it is like to tame a wild horse.  You calm them down slowly and then even when they are quiet... you sense energy under the surface that is barely under control.
The difference is that for me it was satisfying to be choosing His way and I sensed Him smiling.

With patience comes courtesy.  Courtesy is evidence of love and respect.  Papa would have us treat each other with this courtesy.  It is a joy to bless others and the blessing returns to you!
During one of my phone calls today, when I actually spoke with a person, I determined to be gracious in spite of how challenging the whole process had become.  The operator at the disability office and I began a conversation about Papa.  We shared with one another our love for Him and how faithful He has been to us both. 
That certainly was one phone call that left me feeling uplifted!

A verse in Psalm thirty-seven tells us to "rest in the LORD and to wait patiently for Him."  That word 'patiently' means to wait longingly for Him; desire Him, look for Him.  When I rest in Him, I am putting my confidence in Him and trusting that He will work out all the details.
It isn't up to me to work it all out, yet I forget that.  In part I think it is because so many vie for my attention.  There are so many details to see to and it is easy to get drawn away from having my focus on Him.

In the Sermon on the Mount Jesus said that to be 'poor in spirit' is to be blessed.  That simply means that I know I am not the 'be all-end all' and have a lot, yet, to learn.   When we admit that we still have much to learn, we are being teachable.  That is what the Living God is watching for, a teachable spirit.

Recognizing that I have not 'arrived' helps me to be transparent.  I want to be just that and admit that I am broken, as we all are.  Admitting that fact is essential.  It combats self-righteousness.  You know - the "I am better than you" attitude.

In the past few days the subject of prayer keeps arising.  Papa has been reminding me of its power.  While reading in the third chapter of Second Kings I see that those who do not look to Him find favor and mercy from Him because His children have interceded for them.
Belonging to Him brings favor and when I totally give it over to Him I have an even greater opportunity to experience that privileged favor.  He loves to "do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think according to the power that works within us!"

Yes, belonging to Him is such an amazing place to be.  Papa is always blessing me (us).  I am humbled by His love and grace.
He loves to surprise His children and on Tuesday He did just that!
It was to be a full day.  I was anticipating a few of my precious young friends gathering here in the evening for some sharing and caring.  A dessert was in order, but when would I have time to make what??
Well, a lovely lady, who represents "Joni and Friends", which is a ministry to the disabled, was scheduled to stop by in the morning.  Just one more thing to fit into my busy day, yet, it turned out to be a blessing in many ways.
Her visit was sweet and encouraging.  The fun part was that she came bearing a ready-to-bake homemade apple pie!  Are you smiling with me??  Isn't Papa something?!
This just reminded me, once again, that He has it all in hand and if it is something that really needs to happen, well... it will!!

Since I am His I know that He is always with me and knows my heart and mind at all times.  To me, every thought is a prayer of sorts.  Some of those times He doesn't wait for me to ask.  At other times He knows it is important for me to stop and bring it before Him in a more deliberate way.  I rely upon His Spirit to help me know the difference.

Before I close for now I want to share what writing in this blog means to me.  As I have sat here putting my thoughts down for you to read I have experienced joy.  Yes, joy.  I believe this is what Papa has called me to at the moment.  How true it is that when we are where He would have us be, doing what He leads us to do, we are the most content and find joy.
Whether what I share is an encouragement and, at times, a challenge to you or not, though I do hope so (!) I must say, for me, it is a great release.
Thank you for joining me on this amazing journey as I (we) learn to let Him fill our vacuums and teach us how to use our time well!

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