On Hold?

Hello there my friends!
I don’t know about you, but this has been a challenging week for me!
Actually, I am pretty certain you have had your own challenges.
Even if we weren’t in the midst of this pandemic life usually presents us with a few on a regular basis. No doubt!

The season we are in has definitely presented extraordinary challenges.
The challenges of how to adjust our daily lives are ongoing.
So much that we took for granted isn’t even a choice right now.

For me the biggest challenge is not being able to hold those family dinners!  Then there is the inability to pop over to visit a friend or meet someone for coffee.
Relationships. They are still in tact, but at a distance.

I am grateful for FaceTime, Skype and Zoom! I may not be able to hug anyone, but at least I can talk face to face with them!

As I’m sure you are aware, there are many things on the challenge list, but there is no need to rehearse them.
What we need to do is focus on how we handle them.

Over the years, as I spent time with some precious people that struggled with addiction one of the common comments was...”I can’t wait to get back to my life.”
Many people in this world are echoing those words.

My response then and now?  ”What is it you are living now? Someone else’s life?”

I know what most everyone means is they want to get back to life as they knew it.
I get it.
However, no-one should dare to view their lives as on hold until the current situation they find themselves in passes.

There is a good challenge during this time.....seize the time to learn and grow!

Get to know your God better.
And thus get to know yourself better.
This will lead to strengthened relationships first with Papa and yourself and then with your dear family and friends.  Even at a distance.

What have you always intended to delve into but never found the time?
What refreshes your soul? Explore!

This week Papa, in His grace drew me out of a number of funks, so I could be living my life instead of wishing it were different.

On Monday I was feeling unsettled and not happy that the rest of the week was going to be wet and cold.  Then a gentle thought came that I was wasting a perfectly beautiful day worrying about tomorrow!  So I got out of the house and went for a hike alongside a river.
The sound of the river, along with the birds chirping happily in the trees along the banks and the crunch of my boots on the path settled my soul.

How gracious our God is!
A cousin of mine says He is extravagant in His grace and love. I agree!

Tuesday was wet and cold, but it is the day I watch my precious grandson while mommy and daddy work. Nothing blesses one’s heart more than a little one who is learning and growing before your eyes!  This kept me from dwelling on all the other grandkids and loved ones I cannot be with right now.
Grandma slept well that night, as he is now nine months old and in constant motion!

I have been using a shopping service for some of my groceries, but I have found it uncomfortable and it has felt disconnected to me.  Until Wednesday.
When an item isn’t available the shopper will message you to see if he can substitute it with another item.
This happened and as we exchanged messages the shopper was getting stressed by the app and, I believe, the whole shopping thing.  I learned later that he normally does tree work and just took this job so he could have some income right now. As a typical guy shopping isn’t fun for him.
Some of his messages had me doubled over laughing!
Papa also allowed me to lighten the mood for him too.

So is this my typical life? It is for now. Life isn’t on hold. It’s just different.
I believe it will never go back to what it was so I had better be flexible!

Now we come to Thursday.
I had been praying nonstop for a friend who had CF. She was in the hospital for quite a while waiting for two compatible lungs. The surgery happened in January and she went home a couple of weeks ago.
Somehow she caught COVID-19. She died yesterday leaving a ten year old daughter. I told my God it just wasn’t right! True injustice!
What do I know?  Not much.
I do know Papa is loving and good. This is the One who brought me peace in the midst of this heartbreak.
 I know He doesn’t cause these calamities and injustices, but is intending to redeem all the brokenness. We need but rest in Him.

To rest in Him we need to get to know Him. We have the opportunity right now.
Today is a perfect time to draw nearer Him.
I know that was His intention for me this Friday.
I’m spending the day on the couch waiting for the reaction to the shingles shot to pass.
That’s life.
My life.
A perfect time to draw near my great God and live my life in its fullness!

“Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.”
‭‭James‬ ‭4:8‬ a NASB‬‬

“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High Will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the LORD, “My refuge and my fortress, My God, in whom I trust!””
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭91:1-2‬ ‭NASB‬‬

The Illusion of Control

Dearest Ones, I am in a quandary as to what to entitle this post.
You, of course, know the title as you are reading the finished product!
“Control”or “Acceptance” are my top choices at the moment.

A few days ago I had the title or so I thought...
As I was journaling I had a few thoughts for a fresh post. My journaling is between Papa and me. So when my heart heard “How about Control?” I knew Who was speaking.

My mind starting forming ideas of how to approach this subject....
How I have learned to let go of the false belief that I have control over much.
How others try to control you.
How freeing it is to let go.
How important it was to be still and sit with one’s thoughts.
Etc!

The last few days my God has revealed to me what He had in mind.
The intention was to help this lady realize she had been reverting to old behaviors! Very controlling behaviors!

I am a lover of lists.
Having lists means you can check things off, which gives a sense of accomplishment, at least to me.
Lists are not a problem in themselves...it’s what we do with them.  Do we allow them to control us?

Back in the day I would make impossible lists for each day and then go crazy trying to complete them.  I liked to stay on top of everything at all times!

A list from forty plus years ago had many typical things on it with the addition, one particular day, of reupholstering the couch. The thing is I expected to accomplish all my usual tasks AND get that couch covered all in one day. Do or die!
I did it too!
Only problem was it required neglecting and abusing loved ones, including myself,  as this driven woman became very grouchy!

I have learned that one must be realistic.   Whenever I have tackled projects since then I try to set time aside and accept that something else on “the list” will have to be left undone.

This desire to cross every ‘t’ and dot every ‘i’ has haunted me all my life. This is the foolish drive to be in control at all times!  It is an illusion.
It is one way of keeping so busy you have no time to address what is really going on in your head and heart.

Monday evening I was listening to a Brene Brown podcast in preparation for a zoom meeting with some of the most beautiful women I know.  
I was ironing as I listened
Yes, I still iron!
Anyway, lo and behold the topic was about control and as I listened I thought none of it was new to me. I mean after all I have moved past this!

Back to the ironing...I was ironing because there was something to iron and being back in my old ways it needed doing right then and there!
It had been a full day. We had just sold our old home and I had some loose ends to tie up. Things that had to be moved to the top of the list.
Since I was letting the old self have its way this meant that prioritizing only moved items around on the day’s to do list.
I had to run out before the meeting, which made me late. Something else I like to have control of...time!  I do not like being late!

So, dear friends I was a bit crazed!
Until Papa got my attention.
I was fussing that I would be late. And I was tired.
A simple question came to me. Getting a little weary?
Ah yes my Lord, I am weary! Weary of me and my craziness.

I took a deep breathe, accepted the fact that I would be a little late for my meeting and got a measure of quiet for my soul.

Keeping myself busy to distraction brings unnecessary complications.
Earlier in the day I had written two letters and wanted to include copies of my last blog post. After the meeting I decided to get that done.
It seems I need a fresh lesson...
In my rush I deleted the entire post.
My thoughts and words gone in one tap of my keyboard.

I posted for a few minutes then decided to practice a little yoga and have time being quiet before my God.   I heard...

““Be still and know (recognize, understand) that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations! I will be exalted in the earth.””
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭46:10‬ ‭AMP‬‬

Finally I let everything go.

The following day was a day of reflection and listening.
I’m not anxious over this pandemic.
I do know I am powerless apart from following guidelines. My trust is in my God.
I just do not like feeling restricted. I want to see whom I want to see when I want to see them.
Feeling powerless over many choices that I have normally is unsettling.
Until I admitted this and accepted it I would revert to my frantic behavior.
Papa and I sorted this all out.
Peace has been restored to my soul.

This morning I awoke with a thought of how to recover that deleted post.
The first paragraph is lost, but I was able to repost the rest.

Once I ‘let go and let God’ clarity came.
My God is always in control, but when we are trying to control our world we are too buy to notice.
The solution is to get quiet before the Almighty One. He has it all under control. Even when it seems our world is spinning totally out of control. Much if it is our own doing!
Getting quite before Him allows us to gain His perspective. One that brings peace with it. Then things fall into place!

It’s decided! I’m using ‘Control’ in the title!

The verse I have ended my previous two posts fits here as well.

“So teach us to number our days, That we may cultivate and bring to You a heart of wisdom.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭90:12‬ ‭AMP‬‬

Opportunities

Dear Readers,

The first paragraph of this post from April 7th was inadvertently deleted. However, I decided to repost. May it be a blessing to someone!

I, for one, am choosing to take every opportunity that is afforded me.

These opportunities are meant to help me learn and grow and come out the other side of this crazy time.

I chose the opportunity to have order in my day. I keep to a routine.

And first things first....

Thus....

God first!

Every day we have the opportunity to start afresh with our God.

Like every relationship that we want to see grow, we need to invest time and attention.

No matter what commitments may fill one’s day it is critical to make time to ‘come apart’ so you don’t ‘come apart’!

For me journaling is the first piece.  I dump all my thoughts out and in doing so Papa helps me sort through them. Reading, meditation and prayer follow.

Then I’m ready to go into my day to seize the many opportunities that are mine to pursue.

One opportunity I am taking advantage of is to keep my body moving. This means I practice my yoga on a daily basis and get as many walks in a week as possible.

Today I took two walks.

The first walk was in Litchfield. The walk took me through the Stations of the Cross.  This was an opportunity to reflect on what this week means to me.

I brought my journal and wrote my thoughts down as I walked. For me writing makes more permanent the thoughts and feelings that arise so they do not become lost.

The second walk was after dinner and kept me in my sweet neighborhood.

There are many mature trees around us and quite a few have little buds getting ready to unfurl.

How this made me smile!

I thanked God for the season of spring and that this pandemic didn’t occur in the dead of winter!

Could you imagine if we were more confined? Imagine if it were very cold and overcast?

It would not do anything to lift our mood!

I, for one, become a little blue towards the end of winter.

It wouldn’t have been pretty!

A question came to mind, as I expressed gratitude for the season.

“What else makes you smile?”

My reply?

My sons!

They are wonderful men and I love their sense of humor!

Thinking of some of their antics makes me chuckle!

Reflecting on their kindnesses and love brings a big smile to my face and heart!

Then there is a little eight month old boy who is the best boy!

Oh the list grew and words of gratitude tumbled out in a rush.

Truly I could go on with all that came to mind...all my dear family and friends.

Each one a treasure from Papa to me!

People are the true treasures, aren’t they?

So an opportunity to reflect upon those treasures is available to each of us!

When a name or face comes to mind that we wouldn’t truthfully be able to declare a treasure, we have the opportunity to bring them before our God and learn to see through His eyes.

You might be reading my words and wondering if I’m for real...how can anyone be so positive?

Well, I have my moments when I find myself down and anxious. But I have learned that what one focuses on grows bigger, so I turn my eyes to my God!

He can never grow too big!

I love writing and over the years have had some periods of time where the words just flowed.

Then they seem to dry up.

I’m taking the opportunity to get back into the flow. It is the perfect time, as I seem to have some extra room in my schedule!

All that journaling and those walks I take give the Spirit the opportunity to speak to my heart. Thoughts arise that I know are not from me.

Perspectives are presented that I need to consider.

Directions and paths are fine tuned.

When I’m willing and open that is!

I must confess that for a while I was chaffing at the bit, as I thought I had all the opportunities lined up for the foreseeable future. The majority of them had to be put on hold until who knows when?

Then there are all the family gatherings that, too, are on hold.

I could list many things I do not like at the moment, but then I would be missing the opportunities that are available to me!

So by the grace of God I choose acceptance of what I cannot change and the courage to change the things I can.

What can I change?

My attitude!

Then with a change in direction I can...

Go after ever opportunity Papa has made available to me to help me learn more about myself and Him.  Opportunities that lay a fresh path that is less cluttered!

The opportunities are endless!

Look around...what opportunities has the Living God made available for you?

We can start by praying...

“So teach us to number our days, That we may cultivate and bring to You a heart of wisdom.”

Psalm 90:12

Redeeming the Time

Hello there my dear friends!
It has been a few years, yes, years(!) since I have contributed anything to my blog.
You might wonder why now or you are presuming that our current world situation is the motivator.
Not so.
Let me explain....
A course I am taking asked me to list twenty simple things I could do in the following few days. I numbered the page one to twenty and then began my entries. The very first one was to write a paragraph or two for the blog.
My immediate thought was...”What? that isn’t something ‘simple’, Papa!”

You see I knew it was my God who had my hand write that down.
So I told Him that He would have to give me the words, as always.
Then I went my merry way.
That was yesterday.

Each morning one of the very first things I do is to journal three pages worth.
This morning was no different and as I began to write I realized I was being given the words to share here.  How faithful my God is!
May they encourage your heart and cause you to draw nearer to the Living God!

The last day of March! A March that no one will ever forget!
April will join it in infamy, I am certain.
What will be written about this time in history? It will depend upon who is doing the writing!
Everyone has their opinions, but how many really know the truth of any situation?
We all see from our own perspective, but is it with clear lenses? I doubt it. There is only One who sees clearly, is unbiased and not motivated by any fear.
It is in this One that I put my trust.

It seems like most everyone is waiting for the other shoe to drop.... Who will contract the virus next? Will it be me? Someone dear to me? Will we survive?
Again only He knows. And He is in control!

Is He watching from afar and moving pieces around like on a chessboard?
This one is next....That One doesn’t make it......
No! I do not believe that at all!

My God is Creator, not destroyer.
He does not bring calamity on anyone.
He is the God of compassion. He is the God of all comfort.
And He is the Redeemer!

He is redeeming now. We need to just open our eyes and heart.
Yes, there is pain and loss and I do not make light of this fact. However, dwelling on this does not change it, but does add to the darkness around us and in us.

If we looked to Him and trust in Him....Cry out to Him, He will open our eyes to all the blessings, all the good! We will begin to see through His eyes and gain His perspective.

My desire through all this is to draw nearer to Him, to grow deeper in my intimacy with him. I desire to be a usable vessel, His vessel meet for the Master’s use!
This comes from the Scripture verse - 2 Timothy 2:21.
I memorized this some 40 years ago and did it in the King James Version.

“If a man therefore purge himself from these, he shall be a vessel unto honour, sanctified, and meet for the master's use, and prepared unto every good work.”
‭‭2 Timothy‬ ‭2:21‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Meet...useful.

In the beginning this vessel (me) was so packed full of junk... Clogged.... Not hospitable or welcoming and definitely not a place worthy of my God! It needed to be cleaned out!  Just like a blocked artery.
I don’t know much about the medical procedure done to clear out an artery, as to whether it  gets everything out of the artery and leaves it clean and like brand new, but I know that the cleaning out of this vessel has been a long process. And it’s ongoing!

Pain, of course, has been part of this process, but it has been a healing pain.
The more we yield, the easier it is to let go of the junk and make more room for the Spirit of God.
In time His life, His Spirit becomes like a river that seems to flow in and through our lives. God is then able to work through us to touch the other lives.  This brings Him glory and honor and brings us great joy!

Right now we are being called to go within, to clean house, to make room and there we will find we are free!

“Out of my distress I called on the LORD; The LORD answered me and set me free.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭118:5‬ ‭AMP‬‬

We’ll find that our lives have fallen into pleasant places.

“The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭16:6‬ ‭NIV‬‬

In those pleasant places we will discover a sure foundation.

“He will be the sure foundation for your times, a rich store of salvation and wisdom and knowledge; the fear of the Lord is the key to this treasure.”
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭33:6‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Those pleasant places and sure foundation are found in the Almighty God alone!
He is worthy of vessels meet for His use!
Allow Him to Redeem this time in your life so one day you can look back and say you were eternally grateful for this very hard time in your history.

May this prayer be on every heart.

“So teach us to number our days, That we may cultivate and bring to You a heart of wisdom.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭90:12‬ ‭AMP‬‬

Unproductive Habits

Papa has me doing a reassessment...
Of myself.

I try to keep short accounts.
Most often the Spirit lets me know when I have done something that needs correcting.
I keep Him pretty busy!

Yet, there are subtle things that He handles differently.
Those subtle things can be attitudes or perspectives that shift slowly or that lie under the surface.
They aren't often evident.
At least not to me. 

So from time to time He gently reveals to me that a little extra work is in order.
This morning was one of those times.

Currently I am working my way through a small book by Graham Cooke entitled "Coming into Alignment".
At the end of each chapter there are questions to answer and exercises to do.
Finishing a chapter I got ready to work my way through that last section but the first question is as far as I could go.
"What are your unproductive habits?

Unproductive in light of my desire to follow Jesus closely and please our Father.

To be honest I couldn't think of too much.  Yes, Words with Friends can be too enticing at times....
But what else?
I asked the Spirit to reveal anything that I needed to see and then decided to sit on it for a while and see what came to light.
I would never have come up on my own with what was revealed.

I like order.
No, actually I love order!!
Order means that things are easy to find and there is no problem keeping track of the schedule.
In other words I like to be in control and have things go MY WAY!

There there is reality....

No time to put everything where it belongs...
Resulting in some frustrated hunting being required on occasion.
A schedule that gets squeezed for one reason or other....
The result leaving one exhausted.

Note two telling words...

Frustrated
 
Exhausted

Both because this lady loves order and finds it challenging to go with the flow.
Oh, I appear to be going with it, but often there is turmoil under the surface.
Papa has been working with me to "be in the moment" for some time now and let Him order things.

Today He showed me that I am being unproductive when I resist.
Frustration and exhaustion are not productive.
Frustration is me out of step with the changes that are occurring around me.
This results in exhaustion.
Neither are from Papa.

Instead of internally stomping my feet and digging in how about letting it go trusting that Papa has the plan and He is in control?

By His grace I can do this.

One of my favorite verses comes to mind...

"You will guard him and keep him in perfect and constant peace whose mind (both its inclination and its character) is stayed on You, because he commits himself to You, leans on You, and hopes confidently in You."  Isaiah 26:3 The Amplified Bible.

So as I keep my eyes and heart fixed on Him, relying and trusting Him, confident that He is loving and faithful I will constantly experience that perfect peace that only He offers!
Isn't that so much better than having to have everything one's own way??

Serendipity

Serendipity.
I love the sound of this word!
It sounds like what it means....
A fortunate happenstance or pleasant surprise.

Who doesn't enjoy serendipitous happenings?
They are always lovely, so what's not to enjoy?

Such happenings come in an infinite number of ways.

Maybe you check your mail and find an unexpected note or letter sent simply because someone was thinking of you. Of course, a text or email can bring the same welcome message, but for me part of the blessing is in knowing someone took the extra time to choose the card or stationery, write their message, address the envelope and then get it into the mail.  The extra time taken says I am especially valued.

How about...Discovering the just right gift for someone or spotting an item that will perfectly fill that spot in that particular room that needed a little something...of course, what makes it serendipitous is that we weren't even looking for it and it's marked down too!

Then there is the free time that is suddenly opened to us! The time to breathe deeply and take in the beauty around us. Beauty that often goes unnoticed.....

The quiet moments when we can hear the whisper of God.

I believe there are many more of these pleasant surprises that we can enjoy if we but choose to be watching for them.
Our lives are full and many voices vie for our attention, yet, if we learn to still ourselves we will find treasures that are much more worth our time than many of the extraneous things of the world.
Slow down...be in the moment...don't miss those gifts!
Every single one of them is Papa telling us He is especially fond of us!

It is my desire to follow the Spirit's promptings throughout my every day. When I do I enjoy quite a few pleasant surprises....

Just the other day I needed to pick up something I ordered at a store. I do not enjoy shopping so I had ordered the item on line, but to save shipping, I opted to pick it up. It was not my intention to do
anything but that, however, I felt prompted to go the circuitous route through the store.
I like daily calendars and missed having one with Bible verses on it. You see I save the pages once they are torn off and use them to collect prayer requests from my dear friends at the rehab where I volunteer.  It is not unusual for a particular verse to fall into the hands of someone who needs just those words.
The serendipity was in finding just such a calendar on the clearance rack! It was a gift from Papa! He loves those dear broken people and knows who will need to receive what and when!

That's not all! Upon getting home I began to remove the calendar pages that were past date with no plan to sit and read each verse...I read plenty of Scripture and like to read when I can reflect upon what I'm reading.
Well....I found myself reading verse after verse until I came to January 10th, which was my birthday.
As I read what I found on that page I knew it was from my beloved Lord, who is so tender in His
love.

"Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and

you will find rest for your souls." Matthew 11:29

What was it about that verse that captured my attention so fully?  Simply that those were the words that captured my heart so many years ago. Finding them on that page, on that special date I sensed the loving Presence of the One I had fallen in love with so deeply. His reminder to me of how He treasures me and my love for Him.

Now that is one beautiful serendipity!

Hope and Expectation

What do you know?  It has been exactly one year since I last sat in this place with my hands moving over the keyboard in an attempt to share my thoughts on this blog.  That is not to say that I haven't desired to do so before now, but somehow the urge passes before the opportunity presents itself!

I don't do resolutions these days, but if I were to it would be to find the time to visit here on a regular basis.  Writing is one of my joys and writing to share what Papa has shown me is my most favorite type of writing.  Really it is the only writing I give any serious attention.

So what hinders my writing?  Well, I do write every week, but it is an update focused on the precious people Papa has given me the privilege of ministering to with Him.  We are on a grand adventure, we two!
That writing takes a couple of hours of my time to put together, which means I have less time to do other writing, but it  has also allowed me an outlet for my desire to write. However, the desire to visit here has been building and I am seizing this moment to do something about it!

Whenever I write I imagine that we are in conversation.  I guess that is my style of writing...the conversational style!

Though I don't think the beginning of a new year is really that monumental, as it does not offer any more opportunity for change than any new day or hour or minute does, I have made it my habit to use it as an opportunity to do some self-evaluation with Papa.  I also look to Him for what He would have me focus on in praying for myself, my family and so many others.  He gives me Scripture to guide my prayer focus.

About a month ago my gracious God gave me one verse for this coming year and it is meant to encompass every detail of every life.

My children are all adults and live on their own.   We have regular contact and Papa always shows me what He would have me be praying for each one.
One never stops being a parent, but as our children mature our role change and our responsibilities grow to be much less.  The balance shifts.  Yet, our concern for their well being never wanes and there are always things we'd love to see change.  And that is just regarding family...Then there are many others, including those precious ones who Papa and I love, who so need to realize their infinite worth!

The verse I received is Psalm 39:7 Amplified

"And now, Lord, what do I wait for and expect?  My hope and expectation are in You."

What Papa spoke to me regarding this verse was:
If I were to make a list of all the things I wait for, things I long to see happen, things I desire to change, it would be pretty long!  Most of which, if not all, I have no control over!
Instead of focusing on and worrying over any of those things I can turn them over to Him and wait for Him to work in His perfect time.
What freedom!!

The fact is that He never answers the way I expect.  No!  It is always so much better!!  Ephesians 3:20 Amplified says it beautifully!

"Now to Him Who, by (in consequence of) the (action of His) power that is at work within us, is able to (carry out His purpose and) do superabundantly, far over and above all that we (dare) ask or think-infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes or dreams,"

What joyful promise!!

Now this was not something totally new to me.  Papa has been so very gracious in my life and the lives of those around me.  But don't we all need fresh reminders along the way?
So consider this your reminder...A reminder of His faithfulness....His mercy and grace.....His power...And especially His great love!

A reminder to give all your hopes and expectations over to Him and wait...wait and watch the Sovereign Lord's way of making new everything!  After all He is the Redeemer of all things!